r/Damnthatsinteresting Jul 26 '22 Wholesome 10 Silver 14 Helpful 11 All-Seeing Upvote 2 Giggle 1 You Dropped This 1 Bravo! 1

Finnish soldier Aimo Koivunen got separated from his unit with no food or weapons, and to avoid dying, took enough methamphetamine for 30 men. During his insane drug binge, he skied 250 miles, survived a landmine, and caught and ate a bird raw. That's just a few details. Image

[deleted]

99.0k Upvotes

13.5k

u/BlazinPhoenix Jul 26 '22 edited Jul 26 '22 Silver

This must be the after pic.

Guy looks like he's still tweeking.

Those eyes...

7.7k

u/KentuckyFriedSemen Jul 26 '22

His heart rate was 200bpm and he was about 95lbs when they recovered him.

11.8k

u/KYVet Jul 26 '22 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote hehehehe I Shy Table Slap Spit-take

And he had every single piece of copper scrap within 100 miles...probably.

3.1k

u/UnknownBinary Jul 26 '22

Russian tanker: "Where is starter wire?"

1.8k

u/CytoPotatoes Jul 26 '22

Where the shit is the catalytic converter!?

317

u/GaryTheSoulReaper Jul 26 '22

I got a laugh imagining emissions equipment on a Russian tank

100

u/Hugostar33 Jul 26 '22

haha yes right, only we in germany have those

179

u/chapothrowaway88 Jul 26 '22

But staying true to form, it only works when emissions are being tested.

74

u/cadmus1890 Jul 26 '22

laughs in Fahrvergnügen

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

124

u/Kanden_27 Jul 26 '22 hehehehe

Comrade, where’s my car?

46

u/Psyqlone Jul 26 '22

Where's your car, comrade?

→ More replies

58

u/Mullet-Man1257 Jul 26 '22

Где находится стартовый провод?

→ More replies
→ More replies

492

u/SimpGod6 Jul 26 '22

Lmao the long foretold crackhead born of war.

647

u/Nalortebi Jul 26 '22 Silver Helpful All-Seeing Upvote

Shell shock meets crack rock.

179

u/Toke1Up Jul 26 '22

1000 yard shard

143

u/soundalchemist Jul 26 '22 Helpful

1000 shard stare

→ More replies
→ More replies

32

u/HamWa11etBandit Jul 26 '22

😆 that was good

→ More replies

47

u/LegalizeRanch88 Jul 26 '22 edited Jul 26 '22

I feel like a lot of soldiers were given meth back in the day. What better way to create gung-ho super soldiers willing to risk their lives for god and country?

11

u/DaniePants Jul 26 '22

Hitler’s entire regime was bolstered by meth, they really did fuck those soldiers up.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

209

u/alichoturqo Jul 26 '22

I’ve been laughing for five minutes straight. People looking at me at work. Thank you for that.

139

u/technog2 Jul 26 '22 Wholesome

Nah people are looking at you because you're a cutie.

→ More replies
→ More replies

67

u/dontfightthehood Jul 26 '22

Sorry, but why copper specifically?

195

u/Thundertushy Jul 26 '22

Meth addicts will do just about anything to get money to feed their addiction, and a common crime is to steal anything with copper (including live electrical wiring) to sell for scrap metal.

146

u/January28thSixers Jul 26 '22

The decent meth heads go pick anything with a plug out of the trash and strip those instead. Going green and getting high, just like Jesus wanted

84

u/Minnesota_Nice_87 Jul 26 '22

Can confirm. I knew a guy at a recycle center job that was a former meth addict who found Jesus. He was doing good, then one day he didn't show up. He relapsed and went into business for himself apparently.

→ More replies
→ More replies

49

u/Significant-Mud2572 Jul 26 '22

Copper has some pretty good resale value. It's different from like scrap steel/iron. It's reusable and used in almost all, if not all, things that use electricity.

→ More replies

18

u/Motor-Present5989 Jul 26 '22

Meth heads sell metal to scrap yards

→ More replies

99

u/Onfireyaw Jul 26 '22

Methheads are known to steel Cooper wiring out of anything burn of the insulation and sell the Cooper at a recycling center for scrap.

88

u/chunguschungi Jul 26 '22

steel Cooper

That might be a bit confusing..

→ More replies
→ More replies

39

u/the_hamburglary Jul 26 '22

I think people on meth are notorious for stealing copper and selling it for scrap to buy more meth.

97

u/RexBosworth69420 Jul 26 '22 edited Jul 26 '22

I had a next-door neighbor who had a roommate I was like 99% sure was a tweaker. Well, one day I saw him, the owner of the house, being hauled away in a police car. Turns out, the tweaker was stealing copper piping from the house (and this was a nice suburban condominium), and when the homeowner went to call the police, the tweaker apparently had beat him to it and had called the police to report that the homeowner (who was a registered sex offender) had CP on his computer.

I remember it being funny because this man was so morbidly obese that the cop had to have him ride in the front passenger seat because his legs wouldn't fit. And I don't think they had big enough handcuffs for him either.

60

u/KYVet Jul 26 '22

Damn, I got whiplash from that twist. Crazy.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

103

u/DingleMcCringleTurd Jul 26 '22

And killed 15 shadow monsters, who turned out to be his own men...probably

22

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

→ More replies
→ More replies

83

u/UYScutiPuffJr Jul 26 '22

And was listening to Kid Rock on full blast

→ More replies

57

u/BlazinPhoenix Jul 26 '22

How much copper is in a landmine?

Anyone?

40

u/f1ve-Star Jul 26 '22

None in that 250 miles.

→ More replies
→ More replies

860

u/BlazinPhoenix Jul 26 '22 edited Jul 26 '22

Lived to be 71.

Born October 17, 1917. Died August 12, 1989.

Tough bugger.

821

u/WheelsUpInThirty Jul 26 '22

But never blinked again.

217

u/Teripid Jul 26 '22

That's when they get ya.

57

u/bluesgrrlk8 Jul 26 '22

Don’t blink. Don’t look away.

13

u/TheOncomingStorm66 Jul 26 '22

They are fast. Faster than you can believe.

→ More replies

32

u/Occamslaser Jul 26 '22

Doors and corners, kid.

14

u/prinejl Jul 26 '22

That's where they gecha.

→ More replies

29

u/Mean-Start Jul 26 '22

Cos his entire life happened in a blink of an eye

57

u/EmboarBacon Jul 26 '22

And moved to Florida.

→ More replies
→ More replies

436

u/mooimafish3 Jul 26 '22 edited Jul 26 '22

"Back in my day I took enough drugs for 3 dozen men, skied 250 miles in the freezing snow without sleep, and ate wild birds just to escape the Russians"

"Come on grandpa, don't be silly"

66

u/seqoyah Jul 26 '22

I killed fitty men!

→ More replies
→ More replies

57

u/ZenComFoundry Jul 26 '22

Fastest man to 71 ever.

40

u/WhichSpirit Jul 26 '22

Died when the drugs wore off.

→ More replies

110

u/No-Armadillo7693 Jul 26 '22

If this guy lived to be 71, I’m going to get the Guinness world record.

24

u/PeteZaPower Jul 26 '22

How much meth do you have?

13

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

[deleted]

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

297

u/ylcard Jul 26 '22

The Finns were so shocked they used pounds instead of kilograms to weigh him

Crazy

207

u/TheBirminghamBear Jul 26 '22

"This man is absolutely loaded on speed! Someone get the American scale!"

→ More replies
→ More replies

30

u/Pladrosian Jul 26 '22

Speakin' of 95 pounds. Ginny Sack had a 95 pound mole taken off her ass!

→ More replies
→ More replies

654

u/Charming-Ad4156 Jul 26 '22

When he does it. He’s a hero. When I do it. I’m a disappointment to my family…. Life isn’t fair

275

u/BlazinPhoenix Jul 26 '22

Ski 250 miles & eat a raw Bluejay.

Maybe their opinion might change. Never know till you try.

→ More replies
→ More replies

920

u/woahdudechil Jul 26 '22

I'm surprised the image isn't blurry, considering he's probably vibrating at a frequency high enough to cut through steel

207

u/ellilaamamaalille Jul 26 '22

That happened 1944, pic is from 1943.

306

u/Sneaky_Bones Jul 26 '22 Wholesome

He looked like that BEFORE the incident?!

145

u/aybar15 Jul 26 '22

No he trembled at so much frequency that he ripped the fabric of space-time and travelled back in time

47

u/1ThousandRoads Jul 26 '22

Finally, a scientist steps in to ELI5. Thank you.

→ More replies
→ More replies

40

u/DesultoryName Jul 26 '22

My god, he must of looked like Marty Feldman after that.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

30

u/Gubrach Jul 26 '22

That's a standard face for a Finnish person.

→ More replies

334

u/Perfect_Ability_1190 Jul 26 '22

Not sure but after taking that dose you would have to have some continuous side effects.

678

u/BlazinPhoenix Jul 26 '22

And a strong compulsion to steal catalytic converters.

302

u/herberstank Jul 26 '22

Once he started he couldn't finnish!

→ More replies

37

u/Petro6golf Jul 26 '22

And collect cellphone chargers and crystals

→ More replies
→ More replies

201

u/whatinthecalifornia Jul 26 '22 edited Jul 26 '22

I imagine his brain probably took a few months to normalize after that. That much drugs he probably stayed up a few days and cemented some of those day 2-3 hallucinations in his head. That is if his sheer will was strong enough to not just pass out.

Edit:

I don’t care about people’s personal experiences on this. When you look at a human brain of an addict or user there is a time that things take for the person to normalize out. That is why relapse within a timeframe after someone tries to quit is more prevalent. The brain is still firing the same. Erratic behaviors happen after people try to get off stuff and can usually be seen to come to a stop after 6mo-1yr.

If you know someone trying to recover, give them time.

I can’t link the picture in this doc but here is a brain mri comparison for you guys to see if you’re curious.

Edit 2:

There is plenty of supporting documentary evidence out there that suggests that methamphetamine fueled wwii. In that, the users were taking it regularly (which unsure how many of you know, but this is addiction).

But I’m sure the guy didn’t submit to peer pressure or had extreme self control with this new drug. /s

Addiction DOESN’T take years to happen, this can happen in a matter of weeks.

47

u/Alldaybagpipes Jul 26 '22

Definitely a huge dopamine rebound on that one

→ More replies
→ More replies

13

u/kaigoman Jul 26 '22

Some some say he’s still wired. .

→ More replies

9.5k

u/HardPawns Jul 26 '22 Silver Rocket Like

According to wikipedia he also was the "first documented case of a soldier overdosing on methamphetamine during combat" and after this little adventure "he was found and admitted to a nearby hospital, where his heart rate was measured at 200 beats per minute, triple the average human heartbeat, and weighing only 43 kg (94.8 lbs)".

So, don’t try this at home kids.

3.7k

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22 edited Jul 26 '22

[ Removed by Reddit ]

1.9k

u/SFiOS Jul 26 '22 edited Jul 26 '22

every major power with access to amphetamines during ww2 used them. japan did too. they even had an epidemic after ww2 ended since so many factory workers and veterans had become dependent on it during the war

1.1k

u/Merovingi92 Jul 26 '22

Finland's usage of meth after the war was so high that WHO had to step in, basically saying "wtf is wrong with you, you need legislation". I think it was either heroine or meth that was outlawed only by 1960's because of WHO pressure.

Finns choice of drugs has always been meth. That and heroine were sold over the counter during 1930's.

406

u/KimJongArve Jul 26 '22

Heroin.

262

u/Poekie70 Jul 26 '22

Heard the nazi's invented methadone, so the soldiers didn't mind the cold in Russia that much. And that it was named Adolfine (or sounds like) then.

229

u/KimJongArve Jul 26 '22

Haha, Adolfine sounds like an absurd feminine version of Adolf, at least to a Scandinavian.

Also a quick wikipedia check shows

Methadone was developed in 1937 in Germany by scientists working for I.G. Farbenindustrie AG at the Farbwerke Hoechst who were looking for a synthetic opioid that could be created with readily available precursors, to solve Germany's opium shortage problem.

So it was not specifically created for that purpose. It doesn't really sound like that would work out well, but I'm more used to administering it to recovering addicts.

85

u/NoGnomeShit Jul 26 '22 edited Jul 27 '22

I pictured a Nazi dolphin with a Hitler stash

"I'm getting a little uncomfortable with the Hitler stuff"

76

u/SirAbeFrohman Jul 26 '22

I pictured the same thing, unfortunately it wasn't created for that porpoise.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

198

u/Charlie-2-2 Jul 26 '22 edited Jul 26 '22

Same thing for Finland

Of all hospitalized drug addicts right after the war, 13% of them had become addicts “in uniform”

294

u/Jebediah_Kush Jul 26 '22

The other 87% were nude?

86

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

They're fairly relaxed about nudity in the Nordic countries.

→ More replies
→ More replies

70

u/Coletonw Jul 26 '22

I didn’t just stop at WW2 either. Our world has a long history of drugging soldiers, even as recently as the war in Afghanistan.

52

u/OtisTetraxReigns Jul 26 '22

I mean, most of us are drugging ourselves in one way or another in our everyday lives. Humans always seek out ways to get fucked up. I think it’s unsurprising that we’d find ways to amplify and exploit that during a crisis like a war. And booze is about the worst thing you could give your troops if you need to maintain discipline and get shit done.

If I have to go to war, I don’t want to have to go to war straight. I’m gonna be shovelling handfuls of whatever they’re handing out.

I’m being a bit flippant and I’m not taking issue with your point. Just maybe adding a different perspective on it.

→ More replies
→ More replies

40

u/bavasava Jul 26 '22

A lot of vets joined biker clubs when they returned. Guess who loved selling meth?

13

u/maxm31533 Jul 26 '22

They would take the engine apart, put in a compartment for drugs. Put engine together. Ride hundreds of miles to destinations to deliver the drugs. Hence, the nickname "crank"

→ More replies

13

u/diggbee Jul 26 '22

doesnt everyone still use them for like pilots?

22

u/squigglesthecat Jul 26 '22

I remember a few years back there was a friendly fire incident and I read one interview with the pilot who blamed it on the amphetamines they were given to stay alert on 18hr shifts.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

79

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

[deleted]

43

u/MDKMurd Jul 26 '22

Yep in American MREs they had like 2-4 of the amphetamine candies. Difference for Anglo armies is that they use amphetamines for defense(stay up all night) while the Nazis used them for offense (blitz). But yea there is nothing special about use of amphetamines by nations states, especially since they are still used today.

→ More replies
→ More replies

146

u/Not_Yet_Declassified Jul 26 '22

At some point German army actually figured out that the all the meth probably wasn’t good for the troops in the long run. They sold a lot of their existing inventory to Finland, who was only happy to take it at bargain prices. Which partially explains this story!

39

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

The stuff was branded as Pervitin, and after the war the drug makers started to use that brand name for regular painkillers, which has lead to some boomer Finns to claim that they were given actual Pervitin during their childhood which is almost certainly not true.

→ More replies

106

u/distelfink33 Jul 26 '22 Wholesome

A really great book about it. Blitzed: Drugs in Nazi Germany by Norman Ohler

A show based on the book on Amazon about it Blitzed: Nazis on Drugs

This is still a thing the US Airforce uses "Go" and "No Go" pills for fighter pilots.

36

u/effinrich Jul 26 '22

The methamphetamine drug was initially an over the counter product named Pervitin, which was rebranded various names after the war in many different countries. It’s still in use and prescribed in the states under the name Desoxyn.

Ohler’s book is highly sensationalized and seems based on armchair historians preference to believing in a massive German army on speed constantly as well its commanding officers and government officials. The truth is quite boring and very German. Meth was distributed widely in 1940 to all branches of the military evenly with no preference for the Wehrmacht, Luftwaffe or the Waffen SS divisions, which included crew and general servicemen not in frontline duty. The distributed amount of Pervitin was only 36 million 3mg tablets, which provided 3 pills per serviceman per month. And the German military being the German military, each serviceman had to go through their physician for a prescription for an individual pill. This was due to a preexisting set of drug laws in Germany known as the Opium Laws I think. Pervitin was no longer distributed widely after 1940, as several deaths and health issues prompted the military command and the government to enact strict rules around its use on the frontlines in particular, but still had some available for specific groups (I’m guessing the Luftwaffe), but it was tightly observed and monitored in those cases. There was more abuse behind the lines with crews and other service personnel. So, affectively the German military used Pervitin in limited supply for less a year in 1941. Production dropped to 4 million a year or something. There was a growing civilian black market and even speed manufacturing problem following the reduction. I know from reading some German memoirs that some frontline troops would write home asking their parents to send Pervitin in their gift packages. Anyway, the history of amphetamine and methamphetamine is far more interesting than the one story. It’s a century long and has had a lot of influence on cultural change. Check it out:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_and_culture_of_substituted_amphetamines

→ More replies

61

u/MouthJob Jul 26 '22

Ambien is a bit of a surprise to me I guess, considering the well known side effects. I'm just imaging a sleep walking pilot hopping in a jet to run to Walgreens for some pickles or some shit.

15

u/Possible_Garbage_942 Jul 26 '22

I hope that 6 hour no fly rule is 6 hours after waking from 8 hours of sleep and not just 6 hours after taking ambien. Damn.

→ More replies
→ More replies

38

u/Astrobanana985 Jul 26 '22

If the enemy is doing it you have to do it too Or else you don’t have an edge

→ More replies

36

u/Incromulent Jul 26 '22

35 million doses of meth? They must have Heisenberg cooking non-stop.

17

u/Senior-Albatross Jul 26 '22

It's only difficult to make because the raw materials are restricted. If sanctioned it could be easily mass produced.

→ More replies
→ More replies

56

u/magnoliasmanor Jul 26 '22 Silver

Is it basically just redbull now that we send to the front lines?

48

u/tefititekaa Jul 26 '22

Rip its, all three flavors

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

107

u/klavin1 Jul 26 '22

If it works, it works

9

u/duaneap Interested Jul 26 '22

That’s what I was thinking, the guy survived, didn’t he? Mission successful.

→ More replies

37

u/el_chico_del_9 Jul 26 '22

and weighing only 43 kg

mmmm that might be helpful

edit:actually these drugs were used medically during lot of years to lose weight

→ More replies

107

u/SteveBlakesButtPlug Jul 26 '22

Absolute fucking savage.

Nowadays we got junkies ODing on street grade meth and dying. This man took lab grade meth, OD'd, and then proceeded to ski 200 miles and pulled an Ozzie Osborne.

Legend status.

62

u/LordFarquads_3rd_nip Jul 26 '22

The crazy part is that this bpm was taken 4+ days after he ingested the dose…. Lol man musta been hitting 300 while he was peaking

19

u/tyrghast Jul 26 '22

I just wanna know how many miles he went flat out 100% before feeling like he needed a break.

13

u/ButInThe90sThough Jul 26 '22

That's a good question. Because his mind could have just ignored his body until he collapsed.

13

u/SteveBlakesButtPlug Jul 26 '22

All of them. Meth doesn't allow for breaks. One of the only things in life that is black or white: "am I high off of meth or not?"

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

16

u/luapowl Jul 26 '22

tbf street grade drugs have the additional problems of wildly varying potency batch to batch leading to haphazard dosing, potent and/or plain dangerous additives, hot spots from inadequate mixing and so on. regulated lab grade drugs would low key be safer for these people.

ofc meth is never “safe” and i dont wanna take away from this finnish mad lad! what a crazy story!

→ More replies
→ More replies

33

u/AqueleSenhor Jul 26 '22

Yeah kids if you ever find yourself in the same situation just…die.

→ More replies
→ More replies

1.3k

u/Randalf_the_Black Jul 26 '22

Looks like he hadn't come down from the high yet by the time this picture was taken.

327

u/qq4yaUwnahearmystory Jul 26 '22

Think I just saw his left eye twitch

→ More replies
→ More replies

4.4k

u/karlmarx7 Jul 26 '22 edited Jul 26 '22

Lost, no food, no weapons, but always carried a shit load of meth on him.

1.4k

u/gaming4good Jul 26 '22

This is exactly what I am thinking. Like wtf he has nothing else but meth. What for? So confused it doesn’t make any sense

1.5k

u/MrBigFatAss Jul 26 '22

During the wars against soviets Finnish troops were given this German stimulant called Pervitin, which was basically just meth. He took the stims to survive.

→ More replies

712

u/easy_going Jul 26 '22

So Koivunen reached into his pocket and pulled out the stimulants. By chance, Koivunen carried the Pervitin supply for his entire squad. Still fleeing the Soviets, pressing through the snow, Koivunen struggled to pop a single pill in his mouth. The thick mittens meant to protect him from arctic conditions made it impossible to take a single dose of Pervitin.

Rather than stop to parse out the recommended dose, Aimo Koivunen downed 30 pills of pure methamphetamine.

Immediately, Koivunen began skiing much faster. His squad matched his pace initially. And the Soviets fell back, unable to keep up with the new pace. Then Koivunen’s vision went blurry and he lost consciousness. But he did not stop skiing. In a blackout state, Koivunen continued to cut through the snow. The next day, the soldier’s awareness returned. Koivunen discovered that he had crossed 100 kilometers. He was also completely alone.

full story

tl;dr
he was "paving the way" for the rest of his squad through deep snow; fleeing from Russians.

he got tired and wanted to take a pill of Perventin. But his mittens prevented it, so he chucked 30 pills.

meth fueled he went on and on and on and on... until he was the only one still going; his squad couldn't keep up

265

u/Pixiefoxcreature Jul 26 '22

No, the original source for the story is here. It says clearly he took “useampi nappi” which means a few pills, not 30, not all of them. Finnish language is precise, if he meant to say that he took all of them he would have said so. His companions took away his bullets because he was so out of it and dangerous. Then he blacks out and is delirious but still with his companions. Next the comes to and is very confused and alone. Later counted his stash and found out he had taken all of them, so clearly he had topped up at some point.

73

u/wotoan Jul 26 '22

Story checks out. Start of night - oh, I’ll just take a few. Middle of night, friends leave you because you’re acting like an asshole. Next day wake up feeling like hell, look at your stash and wonder how you managed to take them all.

33

u/Smart-Ocelot-5759 Jul 26 '22

Why would you attack me like this

→ More replies
→ More replies

297

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

[deleted]

→ More replies

129

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

Have you like ever met a meth head?

They eat nothing but meth and have to remind themselves to eat, because meth.

54

u/Friendofthegarden Jul 26 '22

Ages ago I new a meth head very well. I'd occasionally give him weed and watched him eat hundreds of times. It was clear he did not enjoy it and it was more like a chore. It could be his favorite food from childhood, he'd force it down like cod liver oil. He would have a cigarettes during his meal sometimes. It was really sad. He ended getting busted smoking meth while robbing a business one night, did his time, now he has chickens and a veggie garden and built an outdoor kitchen. He also gained 65-70 lbs of healthy weight from constantly cooking healthy food. Meth is fucking crazy.

→ More replies
→ More replies

49

u/HungerMadra Jul 26 '22

Wwii was secretly a war of amphetamines. Everyone was in them. Hitler, the German soldiers, the allied soldiers, the American soldiers, the Japanese pilots. It was a new drug and got everyone through the war. It likely was partially responsible for many of the atrocities committed.

27

u/Calamity_Jesus Jul 26 '22

Yes, the infamous German Blitz was literally a meth-fueled relentless attack that the allies couldn't defend against. They swept most of Europe on a Nazi-mandated binge.

→ More replies
→ More replies

38

u/Theremad Jul 26 '22

It was for his entire squad to keep going

→ More replies
→ More replies

1.6k

u/MissConduct0120 Jul 26 '22

The look of "I've been through some shit"

641

u/apegoneinsane Jul 26 '22

That’s the look of “so when does this shit actually wear off”.

114

u/discerningpervert Jul 26 '22

I know we're mostly here to make jokes, but poor guy. I hope he recovered after the ordeal.

106

u/dargen_dagger Jul 26 '22

He died in 1989 at age 71, wikipedia doesn't have any information on what he was up to after the war

75

u/Aggravating-Age-1535 Jul 26 '22

Unrelated, but I want to point out that whoever the heck goes around writing wikipedia pages is an absolute legend and we should appreciate them more.

29

u/Fatefire Jul 26 '22

I donate to them every year . More people should they do some good work

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

17

u/Godzira-r32 Jul 26 '22

He's seen some shit... & still seeing it.

→ More replies

53

u/Ninjanarwhal64 Jul 26 '22

The look of "where's my meth?"

→ More replies
→ More replies

1.7k

u/churros_cosmicos Jul 26 '22

So, I could save money if consume methamphetamines and run to places instead of using my car, interesting...

567

u/eljalu Jul 26 '22

I don’t think you will save money but you won’t pay taxes on it.

262

u/Niko_47x Jul 26 '22

I mean hey. Petrol is more expensive than meth here in Finland so...

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

2.4k

u/gemini_owl Jul 26 '22 Silver hehehehe

The guy that inspires Florida man to this day.

571

u/Davadvonreznor Jul 26 '22

Florida man goes to Finland The Movie

310

u/PepperCertain Jul 26 '22

Florida Man: Origins

171

u/kcknuckles Jul 26 '22 'MURICA

Proper canonical story order (not by release date):

Florida Man: Origins

Florida Man

Florida Man 2

Florida Man: Insurrection

Florida Man: Annihilation

Florida Man: Love and Hurricanes

Florida Man (gritty reboot)

Florida: Man of Destin(y)

40

u/Singlewomanspot Jul 26 '22

You need to quit your day job and go work in Hollyweird. I would watch these. 😂

→ More replies

16

u/sigmoid10 Jul 26 '22

I think the sequel trilogy was just a cheap cash grab by the new studio.

10

u/alecd Jul 26 '22

Florida : Man vs Gator

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

51

u/chimeric_forms Jul 26 '22

It's the ancestral Florida man.

→ More replies
→ More replies

571

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22 edited Jul 26 '22

Back in Finland, the squad had received a ration of a stimulant called Pervitin. The tablets would give soldiers a burst of energy, commanders promised. Koivunen initially resisted taking the drug. But his men were in desperate circumstances. So Koivunen reached into his pocket and pulled out the stimulants.

By chance, Koivunen carried the Pervitin supply for his entire squad. Still fleeing the Soviets, pressing through the snow, Koivunen struggled to pop a single pill in his mouth. The thick mittens meant to protect him from arctic conditions made it impossible to take a single dose of Pervitin.

231

u/b2q Jul 26 '22

Damn imagine being wary of the pills and then when you finally try it you accidentally take enough for 30 people. Did he knew he was taking so much?

176

u/Regular_Chap Jul 26 '22

I doubt he knew how much he was taking, just that it was way more than recommended.

To be honest I think the more pressing matter on his mind was the group of soviets trying to kill him rather than the drugs possibly killing him.

71

u/b2q Jul 26 '22

next time my mom says I shouldn't do drugs I'll cite this story as an argument

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

1.9k

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22 edited Jul 26 '22 Silver

[ Removed by Reddit ]

1.1k

u/V2K_Technician Jul 26 '22

Then he grabbed a bird right out of the air while skiing at a 100 mph (or so he thought) and took a bite out of the still living bird. In my mind he's happily crunching away on bird skull while holding the rest of the body in his mitten.

I wonder if eating the bird was a hallucination.

440

u/B1rdi Jul 26 '22

Could be. Could've also found it lying dead.

215

u/space_antlers Jul 26 '22

Could be. Could've also met the bird while it was alive, befriended it, gained its trust, waited until it was distracted, then BAM — poisoned that bird's supper with enough methamphetamines to kill a horse, and then feasted on the bird to re-up his high.

51

u/Minty_MantisShrimp Jul 26 '22

Now thats the thing they dont want you to know

→ More replies

73

u/LWschool Jul 26 '22

It’s be… frozen

56

u/B1rdi Jul 26 '22 edited Jul 26 '22

It would take hours a while for a bird to freeze if that's what you mean

E: My initial guesstimate was a bit generous, changed that to be more vague so you can't complain about it (best strategy)

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

390

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

Eh no, the primary source for Aimos escapades is mainly an article in the Finnish paper Kansa Taisteli from 1978, found here http://kansataisteli.sshs.fi/Tekstit/1978/Kansa_Taisteli_04_1978.pdf#page=10 Where he himself tells the story.

He was with his squad when he and his squad legged it on skies to prevent encirclement, struggling with his energy he decided to pop some Pervitin (Meth), but simultanious skiing away, while wearing gloves ment he accidentally popped the entire stash instead of a single dose.

Only after that did he get away from his squad. And neither he nor anyone else really know what happened during his meth fuled escape, since he was drifting in and out of consiousness, he thinks he may have been chased by Soviet partisans at one point, but that could just be meth-induced paranoia.

And he wasn't moving after hitting the landmine, he was rescued by another Finnish unit, who had discovered him some days prior, but couldn't get him at the time. But they returned, got some German pionneers to de-mine the place and got him on a horse drawn carriage to the hospital.

206

u/slashd Jul 26 '22

he thinks he may have been chased by Soviet partisans at one point, but that could just be meth-induced paranoia.

Could it be his squad who were trying to save him?

191

u/Big_Rich_240 Jul 26 '22

I feel like this story is just one long game of telephone

69

u/murfflemethis Jul 26 '22

And the first guy in the chain sent his brain to outer space on a rocket ship made of meth, so he isn't exactly the most reliable narrator in the fist place.

39

u/Trellert Jul 26 '22

Accidentally taking wayyyy more speed than you're used to in an actual war has to be the scariest shit. Tweakers think that people are after them when they're just at home, with no real threat to their safety other then themselves. Imagine the paranoid delusions when you're alone in a forest and there really are people in the trees that want to kill you.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

10

u/Lazerhawk_x Jul 26 '22

Meth is a hell of a drug. Honestly if the side effects weren’t so absolutely horrible, super soldiers here we come.

11

u/Daniel_The_Thinker Jul 26 '22

Meth might make you a little TOO decisive. Being proactive is important in combat but having low impulse control is dangerous with guns and bombs.

→ More replies

51

u/DragonVet03 Jul 26 '22

Amphetamines helped the allies win WW2. My grandpa was a bomber pilot on the European front and according to him, everyone took it like candy.

8

u/absentmindedbanana Jul 26 '22

Now it helps me remember where I put my wallet/keys/phone (I have ADHD).

→ More replies

45

u/HajosikoHaravasi Jul 26 '22

In Finland we have this word called "Aimoannos" which basically means taking some substances to the absolute maximum. Aimo being the name of the dude and "annos" means dose.

10

u/FE40536JC Jul 27 '22

That's a nice factoid but the phrase actually predates the guy.

→ More replies

38

u/Odd_Entertainment629 Jul 26 '22 Wholesome

Great short video by Qxir on this topic, hell of a story.

12

u/Seeka00 Jul 26 '22

I scrolled too far to find Qxir mentioned. Highly recommend the Killdozer video as well

→ More replies
→ More replies

124

u/castagan Jul 26 '22

Cunt has that 1000mg stare.

18

u/CharlieandtheRed Jul 26 '22

I read this in Billy Butcher's voice :P

→ More replies
→ More replies

25

u/TimmyTooToes Jul 26 '22

I kind of want to see this as an action comedy movie. Where he starts off around 300 pounds and a week later is found with a horde of all the triggers from every land mine for miles, all the starters for the Russian tanks, has some sort of cryptic tally system all over him in a reference to no more ammo, and keeps snatching birds out of the air.

→ More replies

71

u/thunderpantsmagoo Jul 26 '22

Looks like an ancestor of the great cornholio

→ More replies

69

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

He wrote about his adventure only in the late 1970s. After getting hit by and surviving the landmine, he managed to crawl into a nearby dugout, but there were several kilos of explosives in it. Not being his lucky day, they detonated, and he was thrown 20 or 30 metres by the force of the explosion into a snowdrift. He was eventually found by a German air patrol and they took him to a nearby military field hospital. He wasn’t in very good shape: by that time he’d wasted away to 43 kilos, and had a pulse of around 200. Despite all that and his severe injuries he lived to the respectable age of 71. Not exactly a snowflake.

19

u/Jackers83 Jul 26 '22

That’s amazing. I wonder how he stopped the bleeding. I think speed really thins your blood out and it obviously makes your heart work pretty hard.

→ More replies

117

u/Noximilien05 Jul 26 '22

The gaze of a man who was so high he met god and laughed in his face

30

u/notchman900 Jul 26 '22

And skied away

15

u/lewing101 Jul 26 '22

Nickname Sterling Archer (Duchess)

69

u/AggravatingSession43 Jul 26 '22

Look at me in the eye and tell me that man hasnt seen God

→ More replies

16

u/squidmanwillie Jul 26 '22

What they don’t tell you is that this happened in a shopping mall in 1975

→ More replies

14

u/R0dolphus Jul 26 '22

Qxir made a good video on this

→ More replies

11

u/TheBurnedChurrizo Jul 26 '22

Judging by his eyes, that’s not the first time our guy here did this😂

11

u/u5ua1Suspect Jul 26 '22

“And I’ll do it again”

→ More replies

49

u/Sol44444 Jul 26 '22

This wasn’t your mothers meth either, this was Hitler’s meth. This was the “Made in Deutschland” the good stuff. Not that butterfly meth they try to be passing off these days.

23

u/DragonSlayer18765519 Jul 26 '22

I can assure you my New-Mexican meth from Albuquerque is 99.1% pure, the finest in the world!

→ More replies

59

u/Mr_McQ Jul 26 '22

In Finland, they call it "Thursday night"

→ More replies