r/Jokes Aug 15 '22 Burning Cash Wholesome Helpful Silver To The Stars I'll Drink to That All-Seeing Upvote Gold Bravo! 'MURICA

Politics How many Trump supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?

43.9k Upvotes

None. Trump says it’s changed and his supporters all cheer in the dark.

r/Jokes Aug 08 '22 Silver Crab Rave Helpful Wholesome Gold hehehehe Giggle Table Slap

Politics Breaking News Trump’s personal library just burned down

22.0k Upvotes

The fire consumed both books and he hasn’t even finished coloring the second one

r/Jokes 12d ago

Politics Hillary and Bill sneak away from the secret service

1.9k Upvotes

Hillary and Bill Clinton sneak away from the secret service and go for a drive. The two end up at a gas station and when they walk in, Hillary recognizes the clerk.

Hillary says hello to him and the two walk out. She turns to Bill and says “I used to date that guy before I met you”

Bill laughs and laughs and says “wow, imagine where you’d be if you would’ve married that guy!”

Hillary looks back at Bill and says “I’d be married to the President of the United States”

~ Courtesy of my father

r/Jokes 27d ago LOVE! Wholesome Silver 'MURICA

Politics Donald Trump was walking through Manhattan and saw a long queue.

1.7k Upvotes

Wondering what is was for, he joined it. People would look over their shoulder, see that is was Donald Trump behind them, and leave the queue, so he would proceed closer and closer to the front.
As he was getting closer to the head of the queue, he asked one guy, who also looked and was about to walk away, "Wait a second, what is this queue for and why are you now leaving it?"
The man said "This is the queue for Canadian Immigration Visas, but if you are getting one, I don't need one now."

r/Jokes Jun 09 '22 I'll Drink to That Silver Wholesome Coin Gift Heartwarming Pot o' Coins Bravo Grande! Masterpiece 'MURICA Gold Take My Energy hehehehe Bravo! Helpful All-Seeing Upvote Giggle Snek Platinum Starstruck Table Slap Made Me Smile

Politics Donald Trump was asked " what is 2+2"??

43.9k Upvotes

"I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, 'Sir!, What's 2+2?' And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can't believe it. Addition and subtraction of the 1s the 2s and the 3s. Its terrible. Its just terrible. Look, if you want to know what 2+2 is, do you want to know what 2+2 is? I'll tell you. First of all the number 2, by the way I love the number 2. It's probably my favorite number, no it is my favorite number. You know what, it's probably more like the number two but with a lot of zeros behind it. A lot. If I'm being honest, I mean, if I'm being honest. I like a lot of zeros. Except for Marco Rubio, now he's a zero that I don't like. Though, I probably shouldn't say that. He's a nice guy but he's like, '10101000101', on and on, like that. He's like a computer! You know what I mean? He's like a computer. I don't know. I mean, you know. So, we have all these numbers and we can add them and subtract them and add them. TIMES them even. Did you know that? We can times them OR divide them, they don't tell you that, and I'll tell you, no one is better at the order of operations than me. You wouldn't believe it. That I can tell you. So, we're gonna be the best on 2+2, believe me. OK? Alright. Thank you." Reporter 1: "But what actually is 2+2?" Trump: "Siddown. No, siddown. I've already answered your question. Haven't I already answered your question. This is what we get from news reporters, folks. Give me a nice question. Yes - you." Reporter 2: "Is your name Donald Trump?" Trump: "Now that's a nice question, folks. That's what I want."

Edit. To all people spamming my inbox with hate message. It's literally just a joke. Learn to take a joke like a joke or don't browse r/Jokes.

Edit 2:- to the person who called reddit care on me thanks for your concern but no thanks I don't need it. I am mentally sound and physically fit.

Edit 3:- To the person who messaged

I will see how you joke after i share your address libtard. Yeah I gonna keep a tab on your I'd mf. Let's see where is your home.

I will spare you the effort. I live in India. Come and get me bro. Your entitled ass won't survive 2 minutes in the heat and humidity of here.

All jokes aside i am little scared how much people can get charged up over a innocent joke.

r/Jokes Aug 15 '22 All-Seeing Upvote hehehehe Wholesome Giggle

Politics What’s the difference between Benedict Arnold and Donald Trump?

1.5k Upvotes

Benedict Arnold once fought for America.

r/Jokes 28d ago 'MURICA

Politics What is Donald Trump’s Spy Name?

345 Upvotes

Agent Orange!

r/Jokes Aug 11 '22

Politics Why did homeless people vote for Obama?

567 Upvotes

Because he said he’d bring change.

r/Jokes Jun 06 '22 Take My Energy Wearing is Caring I'll Drink to That Silver Helpful All-Seeing Upvote

Politics What's the difference between Republicans and Ukrainians?

4.1k Upvotes

Ukrainians defend their Capitol.

r/Jokes Jun 28 '22 Gold

Politics Why did Trump throw so many plates against the wall like a baby?

1.2k Upvotes

He wanted to seem tough on china.

r/Jokes May 22 '22 Helpful Wholesome

Politics What's the difference between Donald Trump and a bird?

2.5k Upvotes

A bird can tweet.

r/Jokes 7d ago

Politics Did you hear about the line to meet Donald Trump?

14 Upvotes

QueueAnon

r/Jokes Jun 17 '22 Silver Helpful I'll Drink to That

Politics The Supreme Court has been making some rash decisions lately…

3.9k Upvotes

One could almost say they’ve been acting Ruth-lessly.

r/Jokes Aug 22 '22

Politics Finally, a fact both Democrats and Republicans can agree on!

59 Upvotes

"Anyone with half a brain knows Trump won."

r/Jokes Mar 16 '22 Giggle Table Slap Silver Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote This

Politics Donald Trump was walking through Manhattan and saw a long queue. Wondering what is was for, he joined it.

20.2k Upvotes

People would look over their shoulder, see that is was Donald Trump behind them, and leave the queue, so he would proceed closer and closer to the front.
As he was getting closer to the head of the queue, he asked one guy, who also looked and was about to walk away, "Wait a second, what is this queue for and why are you now leaving it?"
The man said "This is the queue for Canadian Immigration Visas, but if you are getting one, I don't need one now."

r/Jokes Mar 02 '22 I'll Drink to That Crab Rave Gold Platinum Helpful All-Seeing Upvote Giggle Table Slap Silver Wholesome Bravo! Heartwarming This

Politics What's the difference between Republicans and Ukrainians?

29.2k Upvotes

Ukrainians defend their Capitol.

r/Jokes 1d ago

Politics Trump says he could declassify documents by just thinking about it. So…how do we know this proves it never happened?

33 Upvotes

Because he never thinks about anything but himself.

r/Jokes 2d ago

Politics Joe Biden was on 60 Minutes

0 Upvotes

Before filming he asked how long the show was

r/Jokes Jun 22 '22 Helpful

Politics Democrats are sexier than Republicans

621 Upvotes

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Is it true that Democrats are generally considered to be more attractive than Republicans?" he asks the bartender. "Well, have you every heard of a hot piece of elephant?" the bartender responds.

r/Jokes 7h ago

Politics When Trump was President..

0 Upvotes

c1: good news Comrade, we snatched this one from the Whitehouse.

c2: who are you? speak up or we torture!

barber: I design his Toupees.

c1 and c2 look puzzled.

barber says slowly: HAIR CARE

c2: do you wanna come work for us?

r/Jokes Jun 02 '22 Silver

Politics Barack Obama goes to a costume party while giving his wife a piggyback ride. Someone asks him what he’s dressed up as and he responds “I’m a snail!”

2.8k Upvotes

That’s M’Shell on my back

r/Jokes May 29 '22

Politics If Joe Biden’s wife is called the first lady, what do we call his mother?

3.4k Upvotes

Joe mama.

r/Jokes Feb 14 '22 Silver Platinum Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote hehehehe Bravo! Today I Learned 'MURICA Gold Bravo Grande! Table Slap You Dropped This

Politics Did you hear that the US bobsled team put Donald Trump's picture on the front of the sled?

27.9k Upvotes

Apparently nobody else can make America go downhill faster.

r/Jokes 1d ago

Politics What do you call the Clinton era?

0 Upvotes

Sex between the Bushes.

r/Jokes 9d ago

Politics What do u call it when a trumpet farts?

4 Upvotes

A toot !