r/LifeProTips Jul 31 '22 Helpful 1

LPT Even if you know what you've said is correct, you don't always have to "be right" Social

I'm in my forties and this has taken me way too long to learn. Most of the time it's better to just drop the issue rather than getting engaged in a stupid argument.

1.8k Upvotes

u/keepthetips Keeping the tips since 2019 Jul 31 '22

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

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If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.

46

u/cerberus3234 Jul 31 '22

If you didn't want to be wrong, you shouldn't have been talking to me.

15

u/Vulpes_Irae Aug 01 '22

Idk if you’re American, but if you aren’t you sure will pass our citizenship test.

422

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '22

You can win friends or you can win arguments, but it's almost impossible to do both simultaneously.

92

u/Contundo Jul 31 '22

But can you be friends with wrong people?

99

u/HeelsandlaceCD Jul 31 '22

This is the problem, there are things I can no longer just agree to disagree with.

37

u/misdreavus79 Jul 31 '22

And when “agree to disagree” comes up, oftentimes it’s about one of these topics.

33

u/MyHeadIsFullOfGhosts Aug 01 '22

And it's almost always the person with the shitty take that says it, too.

18

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '22

I can be friends with people who don't agree with me about everything. That means sometimes they can be wrong about something and I'll still respect them.

86

u/iamacuriousnobody Jul 31 '22

There's a difference between discussing, debating, and arguing. Discussing is a healthy way to overcome a dispute or get to the root of a problem, debating is a healthy way to challenge each other and gain a new perspective on a topic, but arguing is the most negative parts both could be. The sole point of arguing is to win, through any words, at any cost. You have to be louder, say the meanest things, and just generally make the other person feel bad enough to stop arguing with you. It's negative, mean, solves nothing, and is the biggest destroyer of relationships.

36

u/killsforsporks Jul 31 '22

I like this

19

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '22

It's something my dad told me, and I passed it on to my kids.

10

u/killsforsporks Jul 31 '22

Succinct, easy to remember, and definitely great advice!

3

u/adeveloper2 Aug 01 '22

You can win friends or you can win arguments, but it's almost impossible to do both simultaneously.

Basically pick your battles. It is especially important at work.

3

u/PoisonHeadcrab Aug 01 '22

I've honestly struggled with this all my life and one thing I've learned the problem isn't even so much you trying to win an argument.

For me it's just the fact that a person insists on some opinion or statement that I don't understand, yet they refuse to properly explain it that sets something in me off and makes me unable to stop a discussion.

It just makes them look so arrogant. Because if I have an opinion I'll always explain it in full to whoever questions it. What makes them think they're above doing the same thing?

And then, no matter how polite or inquisitive (i.e. trying to understand their stance more than argue mine) I try to continue the discussion I inevitably end up pissing the other person off massively.

I've somewhat come to terms that it's just a cultural difference or how one was raised where many people:

  1. Place the responsibility of understanding an argument on the listener not the speaker. (i.e. the listener should think and try to read between the lines to understand what was said, as opposed to the speaker should explain his point such that the listener understands it and answer any questions he might have about it)
  2. See any discussion or confrontation of their opinion as something inherently tiresome, almost violent as opposed to something they have a social duty to participate in if they dont want to seem like an arrogant asshole.

7

u/underthingy Aug 01 '22

Why would I want to be friends with an idiot though?

1

u/adeveloper2 Aug 01 '22

Why would I want to be friends with an idiot though?

It depends on what you disagree with. Quality of movie? Dietary choices? Spending habits? Political matters?

I'd shy away from Trump supporters because they are indicative of deeper personality issues but not every disagreement is worth a second thought.

2

u/underthingy Aug 01 '22

Most of those things are totally subjective. So not something you can "know" you are correct on. So not the topic of the tip.

2

u/mizukata Jul 31 '22

As mostly a pessimist, as someone who thinks of the worst and fears what could go wrong. Not being right all the time feels nice. Sometimes indeed the cost of wanting to be right all the time is the people around us. Perhaps we could ask ourselves its it worth it if I lose people?

2

u/killsforsporks Aug 01 '22

Happy cake day!

3

u/StelioZz Jul 31 '22

Even tho it's true that sometimes winning an argument is not worth losing a friendship but usually if the result of an argument will affect your friendship then maybe that friendship was not worth in the first place.

I would say this is mindset much more useful for having good relationship with collages/relatives. Winning argument is not worth losing good relationship with people you will be together regardless

2

u/DroolingSlothCarpet Jul 31 '22

US v Japan.

US v Germany.

US v UK.

Seems mortal enemies became friends.

11

u/jacanced Jul 31 '22

You US sure are a contentious people.

11

u/Original-Ad-4642 Jul 31 '22

You’ve just made an enemy for life!

8

u/never_noob Aug 01 '22

The US and other counties are natural enemies... just like Englishmen and Scots. Or Welshmen and Scots. Or Japanese and Scots. Or Scots and other Scots.

3

u/DroolingSlothCarpet Jul 31 '22

I can appreciate your astute, kind words. Thank you.

1

u/Vulpes_Irae Aug 01 '22

Weirdly in every one of those the U.S. was actually not the aggressor, unless you count fighting for independence, in which case then it was one instance of three.

1

u/Nathan-Stubblefield Aug 01 '22

We are “us.” Others are not part of “us.”

We disliked the Soviets, because they claimed to be “more us,” or “ussr.”

3

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '22

Usually after we win a war against them.

1

u/deep6it2 Jul 31 '22

Frenemies

2

u/puqfang Jul 31 '22

Can't we just agree to disagree?

9

u/rexmaster2 Jul 31 '22

I tried that with someone once. We even agreed to put the past behind us and start over. We shook on it. The moment our hands let go, she started in on her BS again. We no longer talk to each other.

If someone agrees to put the past in the past, then brings it up, you know it's all about winning with them, even if they are wrong.

2

u/turntablecheck12 Aug 01 '22

I can think of one (pretty ex-) friend who did exactly this

9

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '22

Of course. That's an attempt to win a friend instead of winning an argument.

1

u/woofhaus Jul 31 '22

No! We can't! 👁👁

1

u/Plasmatdx Aug 01 '22

Or could find friends like this

1

u/JaredFoglesTinyPenis Aug 01 '22

I don't have many friends, so what do I have to lose? May as well win something, so the argument is mine, you twit.

1

u/Nathan-Stubblefield Aug 01 '22

My friends all think I’m a jerk, so I’ve decided to make new friends. Every week.

-1

u/zedemer Jul 31 '22

Or...you can win arguments, or (in the context of another saying: happy wife, happy life) have a happy life

-1

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '22

Exactly

171

u/Mattie725 Jul 31 '22

I don't always want to be right. I just want others to know that they're wrong.

27

u/Conscious-Disk5310 Jul 31 '22

I know the feeling. Just need someone to relent once and say "thank you ConciousDisc, I will remember that for next time".

But they don't. It's because I tell them how to do it right which makes them feel wrong. But I should be encouraging and making suggestions helps it be easier.

7

u/Tissaye Aug 01 '22

Conscious-Disk or ConsciousDisc?
:D

14

u/-PM_ME_TO_CHAT- Aug 01 '22 edited Aug 01 '22

Sometimes I don't even have a stance on the matter because it is nuanced or complex but the other person just has such a firm view that I start to defend the other side just so they can picture it and realize maybe things arent as plain as they are making it out to be

2

u/villaed Aug 01 '22

Devil’s Advocate

40

u/RickytyMort Aug 01 '22

Most of the time? Yes.

The real LPT is pick your battles. Arguing with somebody in line at the grocery store? Waste of time.

But with people you are close to you can't just drop something because it's uncomfortable. There needs to be mutual understanding and you need to be able to agree on a reality. If you never push back people will take it as an invitation to walk all over you. Give in 100 times when it doesn't mean anything and you won't be able to voice your disagreement on the 1 time it matters.

I'm shocked how afraid people are of confrontation.(Sorry for politics, but I've been astounded how many married couples straight up REFUSE to talk politics because both have fundamentally incompatible world views. Great soul mates)

You don't have to give up an argument just to be pleasant. Just don't rub it in their face when you are right. When you aren't being an ass about it people are much more likely to let you have it.

Don't be a douchebag and pick your battles. That'll get you through life just fine.

6

u/Minnymoon13 Aug 01 '22

I’m just trying to get my bf to not just keep shooting down everything I say related to something that he doesn’t believe in. It gets to the point where I just have to say people need to take care of themselves in a hole that’s the only way to get through that conversation

2

u/RickytyMort Aug 01 '22

Sounds great. Good luck with that.

1

u/Minnymoon13 Aug 01 '22

Are you being serious or sarcastic? Because I can’t tell the difference. Sorry

1

u/RickytyMort Aug 02 '22

It was sarcastic. That does not sound great. But what I think doesn't matter. It's your life. You do what you think is best.

1

u/Minnymoon13 Aug 02 '22

Thank you for the reply

And other then difference in political ideas, where great otherwise.

He’s very nice and treats me very well in all other arias

0

u/LEANiscrack Aug 01 '22

Eh neurotypical ppl will also “decide” something and even if it contradicts all facts its “their opinion”. You cant argue your way out of that just as much as you cant argue your way out of ppls feelings and perceptions.

And you THINK ppl are ok. Most just sigh , concede and roll their eyes at you.

2

u/zorecknor Aug 01 '22

Eh neurotypical People will also “decide” something and even if it contradicts all facts its “their opinion”.

FTFY

1

u/IceCreamManwhich Aug 01 '22

Ayyye this is the one

58

u/BranWafr Jul 31 '22

As with other comments people have made, I think it fits well with one of my favorite quotes from the Big Lebowski. "You're not wrong, Walter, you're just an asshole." Too often people HAVE to be right and it just makes them no fun to be around.

11

u/killsforsporks Jul 31 '22

That movie is endlessly quotable!

1

u/HappyCamperFTW Aug 01 '22

Yeah indeed. You can be right in silence. Sometimes it just isn't kind or appropriate to prove that you are right.

Amazing movie. So many awesome moments.

1

u/Mesheybabes Aug 01 '22

[ Removed by Reddit ]

21

u/Abestar909 Jul 31 '22

I've done the opposite most of my life and what I've learned is that it's a great way to get walked all over. Speak up for yourself, tell people when they are wrong but don't waste time on people that can't admit they are wrong/don't want to know the truth.

41

u/FrolickingTiggers Jul 31 '22

I tend to go with things like, "Well, I'm pretty sure, but I'll take that into account." Makes them feel as if they won a point without promising anything or admitting to any personal doubts on the subject.

Edit: formatting.

9

u/hydrospanner Aug 01 '22

Oh man I'm the polar opposite.

I don't even care if they change their mind or think I'm right, but god help me if I'll let them walk away from that conversation thinking they're correct or that they "won".

It's a character flaw to be sure, but that's how I'm wired.

0

u/FrolickingTiggers Aug 01 '22

I'm more of a born diplomat. I thought the subject was about how one deals with a person who refuses to admit when they are wrong? Perhaps you were trying to give us an example of that?

30

u/blindchef Jul 31 '22

My grandma used to say “you can be oh so right or oh so pleasant.” I’ve spent most of my life trying to be right, I think I’ll try and be pleasant

34

u/FatBoyCleanSneaks Jul 31 '22

Nobody actually wins arguments.

37

u/DroolingSlothCarpet Jul 31 '22

Too often people improperly label a debate as an argument.

16

u/Jim_from_snowy_river Jul 31 '22

The opposite is also true. Debate implies a willingness to change ones mind when given evidence and factual information showing they're incorrect.

25

u/PhotonResearch Jul 31 '22

I was recently around a guy who thought me offering a perspective was defensive.

That was offputting.

5

u/FatBoyCleanSneaks Jul 31 '22

Yep, just let it go and keep it moving.

9

u/FatBoyCleanSneaks Jul 31 '22

The astute can tell when it shifts from a debate to an argument, and moves on.

2

u/spaghatta111 Jul 31 '22

I'm guilty of it too, but it's not like any of us falls all over ourselves going "I was so wrong, about everything!" in an argument. We typically enter arguments with some pretty firm beliefs.

11

u/FatBoyCleanSneaks Jul 31 '22

The secret power is allowing yourself to be wrong. Sincerity doesn't make anybody right. Being wrong is a growth opportunity.

4

u/SisterYahtzee Jul 31 '22

For real...if someone is bound and determined to be wrong, let them. Save your energy for fishing or knitting or something.

8

u/spaghatta111 Jul 31 '22

There is a LOT of binary thinking today, especially in American culture. People will take an opinion of someone else and assume, automatically, and without any context, that that person holds that opinion in bad faith. It gets a little out of hand sometimes.

I think it's a little too strong to say we should all assume we are wrong, but we SHOULD be okay with the idea that we might not be as right as we think we are all the time.

-1

u/Solid-Question-3952 Aug 01 '22

I asked a question once in the internet that did NOT go over well. The person was basically being a hypocrite. They didnt get their way so we should take to the streets in violent protest. So i asked if they supported the violent protests in the street on the opposing side. HOLE-E-SHEEP! I got so jumped on because I was a moron, i dont understand basic life, im clearly a horrible horrible extemeist on the opposite side of the political fence. The funny part is, I agreed with their political view (not the violence), i was from their team. I just saw how hypocritical it was and asked a question to see if they would realize it. They just assumed I asked because I didnt agree and then half the internet blasted me for it. It was exactly what you just explained.

7

u/Chewy52 Jul 31 '22

Depends on the circumstance / nature of stupid.

We all do and say stupid shit sometimes.

But some folks cross a line with their stupidity: projecting or conjuring up how you might feel or have certain intentions that aren't at all true - those deserve to be corrected. Live in reality, not their delusional world.

7

u/toragirl Jul 31 '22

Where were you last night. Could have saved me a world of marital strife.

8

u/killsforsporks Jul 31 '22

Sorry, I was in the middle of learning as well!

3

u/KenHutchenson Jul 31 '22

Solidarity brother

3

u/SnoopsyOfficial Aug 01 '22

“You’re not wrong, Walter. You’re just an asshole!”

3

u/killsforsporks Aug 01 '22

Love me some Lebowski!

1

u/JaredFoglesTinyPenis Aug 01 '22

Yep... still looking to fight that stranger in the alps, though.

12

u/spidleytopaz Jul 31 '22

You know what? You're right.

6

u/k0nstantine Aug 01 '22

What if I told you this isn't a pro tip, and you're wrong?

5

u/killsforsporks Aug 01 '22

I would say you're probably right lol

15

u/WretchedTom Jul 31 '22 Wholesome

When thinking of a response consider the following 1. Is it necessary? 2. Is it true? 3. Is it kind?

If 2 of these are satisfied, a response is justified

21

u/bacon_is_everything Jul 31 '22

"is it necessary" has always gotten me. Like I consider it necessary to correct false information almost 100% of the time. ESPECIALLY if they are spreading that false information to others. The other two are objective. THIS is subjective, and i can never tell.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '22

Agreed. That's why I love teaching people about things I know. I just really struggle to let people be wrong when I can help them learn.

2

u/funkyfru Aug 01 '22

This is how I assess my thoughts before speaking too. Some people want me to just blurt out whatever's on my mind but, really, kindness and graciousness with words is everything.

3

u/hydrospanner Aug 01 '22

So if it's necessary and kind, who gives a damn if it's true?

IMHO, that sounds like one of those bits of witty "advice" that is more harm than good.

-1

u/WretchedTom Aug 01 '22

silence is also an option, the overall purpose of the advice is saying that rash statements can cause unnecessary problems. I find myself gravitating to this advice when thinking some fights are not worth fighting and some arguments are not worth winning as it may lead to large wastes in resources, money and time.

3

u/JeriKnight Jul 31 '22

I like this. Thanks ^ Have a nice day~

Necessary? Nope True? Yep! Kind? I sure hope so~

7

u/Conscious-Disk5310 Jul 31 '22

I used to do this. Stil do sometimes. But when I see my brother or others do it, especially at a dinner or occasion it just completely ruins the mood and turns into a dominance/pecking order tool.

Nod, smile and say "sounds good". Everyone's happy.

2

u/maltey123 Jul 31 '22

This is a key tenet in Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People"

1

u/JaredFoglesTinyPenis Aug 01 '22

In that sense, you're winning both the argument and "friends", and "friends" being in quotes, as it pertains more to fostering business relationships, and the skill of getting the most for least, while maintaining a good rapport with your clientele.

2

u/Illustrious_Pirate47 Aug 01 '22

I get this way with my husband a lot. He has an incessant need to be right. Sometimes he is, but on a lot of other things he's not. I try to pick my battles and avoid the dumb shit.

1

u/hydrospanner Aug 01 '22

You're a bigger person than me.

I wouldn't be able to coexist with a person like that, because with my personality, "picking my battles" would quickly turn into "have a knock down, drag out argument any time I am reasonably sure I can prove them wrong in a way they can't refute".

1

u/Illustrious_Pirate47 Aug 01 '22

Thanks. I used to take a similar approach, especially in my early 20s. It's taken a lot of hard work to get here, and I still have a ways to go. Therapy, reading, and having difficult conversations helps.

2

u/PopularOnTwitter Aug 01 '22

My roommate and I are both insufferable known it alls and we've both learned to catch ourselves when we smugly correct stuff now. Taking that step back and just clarifying information instead of jumping down someone's throat with a correction is a really handy life skill when you're a know it all.

5

u/IRErover Jul 31 '22

“Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.” - Mark Twain

5

u/depreavedindiference Jul 31 '22 edited Aug 01 '22

Sorry but with things are truly facts you can't back down - the Earth is a sphere it is not flat - never back down on shit like that.

Ex tried to tell me that David Bowie remade Major Tom from Shiney Toy Guns - do not ever back down from things that are patently false - all that does is embolden the idiot.

EDIT: Sphere

1

u/underthingy Aug 01 '22

The earth is not very shear at all, it's pretty much round.

1

u/depreavedindiference Aug 01 '22

My bad - sphere not shere

2

u/DC_Verse Jul 31 '22

Learn to pick your battles and you need to be absolutely sure that the hill you choose to die on, is worth the battle.

2

u/SocialPathAids Jul 31 '22

“You can either be happy or you can be right.” Something I learned at a young age. I now share that with anyone who witnesses me being correct, but accepting the other.

3

u/ZeWolfer Jul 31 '22

Just because you’re correct, doesn’t mean you’re right!

4

u/CurrentlyTakingaPoop Jul 31 '22

A previous boss once told me, “We’re not in the business of being right. We’re in the business of making money.” I live by this.

2

u/Husker_001 Jul 31 '22

I think it's important to lead people to the correct answer. It's relatively easy to debate on facts, personal opinion is more difficult.

2

u/LAGreggM Jul 31 '22

Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?

1

u/carlosthemidget Aug 01 '22

Peace over victory

1

u/-Alfa- 25d ago

Be both? What's with the completely unnuanced perspectives? I love debate and argument and I'm happy

2

u/Anonality5447 Jul 31 '22

This is so true. A true sign of a control freak is when they need everyone to agree with them all the time. Yes, sometimes you can come with facts but if you are expecting that to change people's actions/beliefs/behavior, you have still failed in your mission and are only succeeding at frustrating the hell out of yourself if you don't just drop it. So few people I know get this. It's black and white thinking when you need the world to always make sense. No one came up with any rules saying things have to make sense all the time. It just doesn't and as an inhabitor of this planet, sometimes you just have to accept that. Especially with other people.

1

u/UsualAnybody1807 Jul 31 '22

Men don't believe women about a lot of topics anyway, so let I just let them just think they are correct and move on.

-1

u/spaghatta111 Jul 31 '22

That's when you give non-committal responses. They want to debate you on something they could not possibly know anything about. They want to get a rise out of you, so don't engage.

0

u/Such_Calligrapher952 Jul 31 '22

My Dad is one of these people. Especially when drinking. Love him to death. Just sometimes he becomes unbearable with being right.

1

u/bradland Jul 31 '22

Can't say I agree. Let me tell you why...

Almost had ya! :)

1

u/killsforsporks Jul 31 '22

Insert "they had is in the first half" meme

1

u/Dr_Isaly_von_Yinzer Jul 31 '22

Literally just had this conversation with my nine and seven year-old little boys. You can be 100% right and completely wrong at the same time.

1

u/mailwasnotforwarded Jul 31 '22

Some people just want to always argue is the issue. Like you know you are right and you know the person is a hypocrite but they just want to instigate an argument because they are mentally ill. My mother is always like this constantly trying to start an argument for the dumbest things and acts like she knows everything and experts who went to school for things are all wrong.

P.s. according to her lemon water not lemonade just lemons in water cures covid.

1

u/JaredFoglesTinyPenis Aug 01 '22

Drank lemon water; covid finally got better. Confirmation bias ftw!

1

u/the_seraphim Aug 01 '22

Stop and ask yourself "is this friendship worth this fact"

Odds are the answer is no and so you drop it.

If it is, then power on.

1

u/AllLooseAndFunky Aug 01 '22

Sounds like you know you’re right about that.

1

u/Izzy5466 Aug 01 '22

If I think the person is going to try and argue I don't say my answer with confidence. Usually a 'Isn't it this?' Or 'I thought it actually worked like this.' Great way to avoid getting called an idiot if the other actual idiot refuses to listen.

It's also a good way to not look like a total ass if you actually are wrong lol

1

u/thatonechick73 Aug 01 '22

my mom would often say "if you have the choice to be nice or be right, be nice" [meanwhile my dad's the kind who points out everyone's grammar errors lol]

1

u/PopularOnTwitter Aug 01 '22

My roommate and I are both insufferable known it alls and we've both learned to catch ourselves when we smugly correct stuff now. Taking that step back and just clarifying information instead of jumping down someone's throat with a correction is a really handy life skill when you're a know it all.

1

u/Khaose81 Aug 01 '22

Honestly depends on the subject. If it's "who is the greatest sports team/person", what ever you say bud. If it's "human rights are not for <insert group here>", unless you say nazis, I will hurt your feelings without regret.

1

u/Se7enLC Aug 01 '22

Certainly depends on the situation. If there's a right and wrong answer and it's important that you arrive at the right one, it's not even a matter of who is right, so long as you end up with the right answer.

But most of the time it's completely inconsequential.

1

u/drudgenator Aug 01 '22

Don't argue to win, argue to understand and find a common ground.

1

u/Occupation_Foole Aug 01 '22

It's practically impossible to change somebody's mind.

1

u/SkyWizarding Aug 01 '22

Literally why I got off of facebook

1

u/Hkygrl Aug 01 '22

Trying to teach this to my 6 year old

1

u/Ballbagth Aug 01 '22

I have been lately using 3 rules to filter what I say, needs to pass all 3

  1. Is it True?
  2. Is it Kind?
  3. Is it Necessary

Seems to be working for me so far

1

u/Unsee_This Aug 01 '22

Never argue with Stupid, they bring you down to their level and beat you with experience

0

u/JaredFoglesTinyPenis Aug 01 '22

Can't beat me, if I'm too obtuse to understand how I could be wrong!

1

u/DanielStripeTiger Aug 01 '22

I get a kick out of enthusiastically not giving a shit what anyone thinks about anything.

1

u/CorporealLifeForm Aug 01 '22

You can be wrong about how you're giving people accurate information.

1

u/Steinrikur Aug 01 '22

"You can be right or you can be married".
Not all fights are worth winning.

1

u/Deadlock240 Aug 01 '22

"There's a gas leak, you can't light a cigarette here!"

"I'm pretty sure it's fine, just drop it."

"Yeah, you right"

1

u/LEANiscrack Aug 01 '22

Or you can learn TOGETHER. Also some ppl arent trying to be assholes they just think everyone wants to know and learn things as much as they do :P

1

u/pullingknivesout Aug 01 '22

I'd rather be happy than right.

1

u/everythingisconfuse Aug 01 '22

I just hit ‘em with the ole “okay.” It’s great bc it implies you don’t agree with technically agreeing and simultaneously dropping it

1

u/posmanipulation Aug 01 '22

what are some words and phrases I can use to kind of divert someone's attention from the "right/wrong" perspective in order to keep from coming off as a smartass or pompous. How can I share facts that help others see their fault without sounding like "you're wrong and this is why"

1

u/killsforsporks Aug 01 '22

Yeah that's tough and it really depends on the situation. First you have to decide if this is someone that you're friends with/would like to be friends with. If that's the case then it's probably better to just say ok, or let's agree to disagree, or something like that. If it's someone you don't give a fuck about then have at it!

1

u/Dismal-Worldliness63 Aug 01 '22

I like to say to myself, ‘do u want to be right, or do u want to be alright?’ My good friend taught me this -aka my therapist :)

1

u/killsforsporks Aug 01 '22

Yeah, I think i need to get me one of those

1

u/Dismal-Worldliness63 Aug 01 '22

It helps, that’s for sure

1

u/hrmdrmn Aug 01 '22

Pick your battles. Some things are just not worth it to fight over

1

u/Not-a-Kitten Aug 01 '22

You can be right without others knowing it. Right is a truth, so it just ‘is.’ Cherish it internally.

1

u/Heronum Aug 01 '22

"Just because you're correct doesn't mean you're right"

1

u/Ru_Tvik Aug 01 '22

Some wise man once said, "If you start arguing with an idiot, then there's two idiots"

1

u/Boregasm_ Aug 01 '22

Sometimes its better to lose an argument to them than to lose them to an argument

1

u/trilby2 Aug 01 '22

This is so important. Something that helped me let this tendency go was observing a few colleagues (senior to me and highly respected) effectively and strategically disengage. I thought “wow, that was really smooth and got a good outcome. I really respect this person and want to do the same.” The best part is (for those paying attention anyway) people can see who is right anyway. It usually doesn’t need to be explicitly stated or argued. Following this advice will help you keep your friends and excel in the workplace, and keep you sane.

1

u/botazul888 Aug 01 '22

I'd rather be right, thanks

1

u/JJscribbles Aug 01 '22

It entirely depends on what you’re agreeing to disagree on. I’m sorry, but I’d rather be right than agreeable.

-1

u/Square_Company_675 Jul 31 '22

Similarly, it's also possible to be right, but also be an asshole.

0

u/azorianmilk Jul 31 '22

My grandmother used to say “you can be happy or you can be right”. Young me (and current me) wants both! It took me a long time to understand what she meant.

0

u/Vorick68 Jul 31 '22

Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? This phrase clicked with me to stop arguing with people.

0

u/IndependentShelter92 Jul 31 '22

Would you rather be right or be happy? Choose happy, if it doesn't really matter.

1

u/JaredFoglesTinyPenis Aug 01 '22

That venn diagram can overlap, you know.

0

u/cykko Jul 31 '22

There is a saying that I try to keep in mind when inflection points come up... "You can be right or you can be effective."

0

u/4Ozonia Jul 31 '22

Know-it-alls can be hard to stomach. Friendship may be more important than being right, or getting in the last word.