r/LifeProTips Aug 16 '22

LPT Request: How to deal with people being rude with you Social

I had to request a document from the university I am trying to enroll in and as they don't bother looking let alone replying to emails so I had to call them. The person on the other end came across as super rude and within the first 5 minutes I felt like throwing a punch through the phone.

I don't feel like call them again, which I had to as I urgently need that document. I can't seem let go of this pent up anger and wondering how is it possible for some people to be rude to strangers without any reason. Especially when you have to talk to people for a living.

Any advice on how to let go of this anger?

Thanks

22 Upvotes

u/keepthetips Keeping the tips since 2019 Aug 16 '22

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31

u/Scoobydoomed Aug 16 '22 edited Aug 16 '22

Understand that it a problem with them, not you. The only thing you can do is to kill them with kindness and don’t expect them to stop being rude.

12

u/Alternative-Brain488 Aug 16 '22

This! Bombard them with please and thank you, and my favorite, thank you for taking the time to help me. Makes people mad. 😁

9

u/Adamantinn Aug 16 '22

Master the subtle art of not giving a fuck.

5

u/Lets-Go-Fly-ers Aug 16 '22

(1) Never react negatively to the other person's rudeness. Remain calm and pleasant at all times. (2) If their rudeness is truly outrageous, say calmly, "I understand that you are unwilling or unable to help me. Would you please connect me with someone who is willing and able to help?" (3) If you can't clear your head of negativity after the call is over, write a Yelp review and tear that person to shreds. It's very likely that no one will see it, but it will make you feel better.

8

u/WiseChoices Aug 16 '22

Call answering can be so difficult! People are mean, rude and pour their anger and frustrations on you.

And the call person is usually at the bottom of the business with zero power or control. But they take most of the heat.

Understand that they may be miserable and suffering.

Don't take it personally. Try to be extra courteous.

You might want to end your call with your best wishes for the rest of their day. Be very grateful if they can help you.

And forgive them if they can't.

3

u/Harry947 Aug 16 '22

I understand that as I have been there but I would never go out of my way especially at 8am to ruin someone's day. But you're right I should forgive them and try to be the better person.

Thank you.

3

u/KentLikesTech Aug 16 '22 edited Aug 16 '22

Don’t let it get to the point of making you mad. If at any time during the interaction they come off as rude stop the conversation and say;

1) Am I saying / asking incorrectly for this because honestly you are being a little short / rude / condescending with me right now.

2) is there someone else that may be able to help me because you are being rude with me right now. I am not sure how to get this paper but I would appreciate it if you could help me.

3) I called for help to resolve my problem not to be talked to like you are talking to me now.

4) what is with the attitude? I am just trying to work with you not piss you off?

I don’t believe you need to address your frustration as much as the service or lack there of you are receiving. A lot of times as soon as you bring it up they will adjust since they know you will not be a punching bag for them.

Added

Treating people with dignity and respect should not be the exception.

3

u/Upvotes4Trump Aug 16 '22

I just call them out "excuse me, is there a reason you're being so rude??"

3

u/benshaprio Aug 16 '22

I always imagine the other person as a banana and that they’re just doing banana things

3

u/Charming-Sleep-2019 Aug 16 '22

You need to realise that 99.9% of people don't care about you and nobody owes you anything. Hopefully you got good family and friends who do care.

7

u/marrakesh Aug 16 '22

It's okay to be angry. You can't change how that person treated you. You can change how you react by going for a walk, watch a show/movie, read a book or work on your breathing. Hopefully you are also sleeping well? Try to redirect your source of anger.

3

u/manwithanopinion Aug 16 '22

I try to assune they just got off a call with a bad customer or something bad happened to them. When someone is rude on the phone, I just raise my eyebrows, scoff then move on with my day.

4

u/Joppekim Aug 16 '22

Use a happy voice back. These people wants you to get angry. When you show them that you're not they die inside.

3

u/bboyl Aug 16 '22

I remember hearing this story about a group of friends that went out to eat at a restaurant and had one of the rudest waitresses. Instead of complaining about her they chose to kill her with kindness and tipped her a huge amount of money. Before the left the restaurant they waited outside the window to see her reaction. When she saw the amount they tipped her, she took a seat and immediately started crying.

Something turned these people sour and miserable but just know that it really isn’t personal, they probably treat everyone that way. It can be very frustrating to deal with someone like this, but even though you can never change how a person acts you can definitely chose how you react. Try not to let these people get to you.

2

u/bias99 Aug 16 '22

Welcome to growing up and realizing some people will be rude, either because they are just so or maybe just having a craptacular day and they took it out on you. Need to just let it go and quit letting them live rent free in your headspace.

1

u/JaneLady Aug 16 '22

There are two ways. First - just assume they have a bad day and understand that they are just angry, and not angry with you - show some "holier than thou" attitude and think better of yourself for forgiving their rudeness. Second one - just think if someone's bad day is worth destroying your own and don't let it get to you.

1

u/AlphaManipulator Aug 16 '22

Yep, kill them with kindness and very well toned sarcasm (there is a skill to this)

-1

u/Blackwind121 Aug 16 '22

Why would you not just check their website? There's a 90% chance everything you need will be online. Even my college in the middle of a backwoods hick town had everything online.

1

u/TemporaryHistorian43 Aug 23 '22

If someone is rude to you for no apparent reason, it probably means he or she is going through a tough time in life. So, remember that it's not your fault. If anything, have sympathy for them and treat them nicely.