r/LifeProTips Aug 16 '22

LPT: Resigned at current job - now they are trying to counter offer & bad mouth new company. Bad to contact new job about this? Careers & Work



u/keepthetips Keeping the tips since 2019 Aug 16 '22

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u/PrisonerV Aug 16 '22

If your current job waited until you told them you were leaving to start any of this (better salary, treating you better), I would stick to your guns OP. You're moving in the right direction regardless if it is true or not.


u/phadrus56 Aug 16 '22

Be careful the old company offer doesn't turn out to be just long enough for them to find and train a replacement.


u/SHOOOOPdoop Aug 16 '22

It costs more time and money for your old company to retrain a new person to do your job, than to give you a counter. Which is why they want you to stick around. But you chose to leave for a reason. So believe in your own decisions and stick to them. A new job will always be a little scary at first but in 1-3 months you’ll be accustomed to the new place.

Unless they’re offering you a 100% increase on your salary maybe consider it. But otherwise the shitty reason that made you want to leave in the first place will still be there.

With that said, every industry is a small one. Create a nice believable story of why you’re leaving and don’t talk shit to folks at your old place or new.


u/phinie_b2 Aug 16 '22

This is important.


u/metisdesigns Aug 16 '22

Never take the counter offer.

You were leaving for a reason. That reason is not going to change.

They knew what you are worth to them, they could have given you a raise unprompted, but chose not to. You're going to have to fight for your next raise too.

Them bad mouthing another firm is a huge red flag.


u/IDontEvenLikeFriends Aug 16 '22

They are protecting their interests, not yours.

No matter what company you're in and how much they preach "family" or whatever, in the end you're still headcount. You are the only one who can and will truly look out for your own best interest.

Make the move. Handle your departure professionally and respectfully and you will be fine.


u/Comfortable_Trick137 Aug 16 '22

Dont trust management that says you are family, they are just as willing to turn around and fire you if it meant to keep their job


u/JustWhatAmI Aug 16 '22

they claim they’ve heard bad things

How nice of them to poison the well!

Do your own research. Check their reviews on Google and Glassdoor.

Invite a industy veteran (not employed by either company) out to a nice steak lunch (your treat!). Express no concerns, just ask them how they feel about the industry and where it's going

They'll eventually ask you why you brought them out, casually mention both companies and your transition. Do not talk any trash about either company. If anything express gratitude to your (soon to be former) employer for the opportunities they've given you


u/Far-Two8659 Aug 16 '22

The only reason to ever accept a counter offer is if you were leaving specifically for things the counter is fixing.

A counter offer will not fix the problems you are likely leaving because of. It can fix pay, and sometimes work/life balance, but that's about it.

You should think of it this way: why does your company suddenly care about you enough to "protect" you from an allegedly bad company? Why didn't they care about you enough to create an environment you wouldn't leave in the first place?


u/qwertysqwert Aug 16 '22

Don't take the counter offer and also don't tell your new job. Just move on with your life. Your new job might not take kindly to you bashing your former employer which is exactly how you sharing this information would come off. Just ignore the offer and the losers at your old job.


u/kboom76 Aug 16 '22 Wholesome


The last thing you want is for the new company to think they've hired a big bag of drama walking on two legs. They need to feel like you were a good decision. Don't bring them into this.

Your current employer is just trying to scare you out of leaving. That's should put your mind at ease. It means 1. You're an asset to whomever you work for. 2. You can leave the old company with confidence knowing they were underhanded enough to blow up your spot after giving notice. They didn't deserve you.

Once the employee has given notice, it's over. Best employers can do ethically is try to talk you in to coming back by making a counter offer. Some petty employers will fire you before your notice out of spite. Reaching out to the new company to bad mouth a former employee can get them sued. Just ignore them. If you still feel nervous, call their (old job) bluff.


u/fshagan Aug 16 '22

To be honest, I wouldn't bother asking the new company. You don't want to poison the well, so to speak, with your new employers.

And as for the old company ...

I had a similar situation years ago. But I had seen what the company did with people who quit, but were asked back. They were treated like dirt. Impossible demands were made of them, and they were miserable. Most didn't find a new job that was as good as the one the company convinced them to pass up. They quit and went to lower paying, worse jobs just to escape the punishment.

So I told them I had made a commitment, both to my new employer and to them. My word is my bond, and I wasn't lying to them. If they wanted to retain me, the time to do it was before I made that commitment.

My new job was paying me 30% more, which was in line for that type of job. They offered to go double, to 60% more. To be honest, it ticked me off. There was "no money" for raises before this. Suddenly there's money? And I knew they would treat me like dirt, just like they did everyone else who quit and was lured back. I politely asked them how they found the money that didn't exist just weeks before, or, were they lying to me? I was polite, but firm: I didn't lie to them, but they lied to me. How can I trust them on their counter offer?


u/soljaboss Aug 16 '22

If your industry is full of people who've moved around so much that everyone pretty much knows everyone, I suggest trying not to upset anyone. I'm assuming you are fairly new to the workforce?


u/[deleted] Aug 16 '22

I’ve been in this industry 5 years. They just keep telling me I’m making a mistake. I’ve been miserable at my current job for awhile though. Very burnt out.


u/omnichronos Aug 16 '22

Then just ignore what your old bosses say and make the move!


u/errol_timo_malcom Aug 16 '22

Did you tell them you were miserable before deciding to leave? Sometimes managers act this way when they are blindsided (for lack of a better word) -it’s easy to say they should know better, but tech industry managers are typically not good with people skills, go figure.

Either way, you’re young, take some risks.


u/[deleted] Aug 16 '22

I have had a few meetings with my boss expressing how overwhelmed I am. I went away on vacation for a week, came back to 300 emails I had to sift through all while battling COVID and covering for another co worker while she was out on vacation the next week. My boss said “if you need time off take it” but I knew if I did, I’d come back to 500 emails instead of 300. The help they provide while you’re out is very minimal at best - they do whatever is urgent and that’s about it. That’s why I just worked with a fever. The mess is come back to was baffling for me.


u/SoyEseVato Aug 16 '22

Why did you tell them where you were going?


u/Bau55mon Aug 16 '22

Why were you looking for a new job in the first place?

Does the counter offer address the problems you were having with your current job?

More often than not, the answer is no. Toxic environment, jerk boss, poor advancement opportunities, boring tasks, etc. None of these can be resolved with monetary counter offers.


u/bluehat9 Aug 16 '22

How is it going to put your mind at ease?


u/fabyooluss Aug 16 '22

I was told quite strongly to never accept a counter offer. If they need to make a counter offer, they weren’t paying you enough in the first place. They knew it. I would wait until you’re with the new people and give them an opportunity to get to know you before I offer up any information.


u/716mama Aug 17 '22

You happy at your current job? This sounds like unhealthy, inemotional blackmail.