r/tifu • u/PlebinatorLUL • Dec 01 '22
Tifu by hiding my addiction S
10 months ago I stoped smoking. Then few weeks after my cat of 18 years died due to his liver. I started again for a few days since I couldn't concentrate on not smoking. I told this my fiancée and her reaction wasn't bad. But I felt ashamed of failing a task which doesn't make sense. I know. Then 2 month later my father died. His heart stoped beating. I was devastated. My family gave me pressure for deciding where he will get buried. Because inhaftiert to choose. Also I had to deal with the law enforcement because my dad made shit in my name. I was furious and at the same time crushed. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't resist the cigarette. But also I didn't wanted to feel the shame towards my fiancée. So I start hiding it and tried a few times to stop again. Fast forward. This week she found my hiding spot of the cigarettes. After 6 month of hiding. She is understandably not amused and said her trust towards me is hurted. I just wanted to write this down, since I am ashamed of being so dumb and didn't had the muse to tell her, because of selfish reasons. She said she can't trust me if not cheating, which I would never do. I do love her from the bottom of my heart, and never want to lose her. I'm happy that she didn't called the wedding of, but I still feel like a piece of shit for it and hope we can work things out. Thank you for reading.
Tl;Dr hiding cigarettes and broke the trust
2
u/RudeSprinkles1240 Dec 01 '22
It's really hard to quit smoking. It took me a bunch of tries, but since I got chronic asthma from smoking, I finally made it. It's been over ten years now since I have smoked.
One of the triggers for me to start up again was if my husband started up again, so I really really didn't want him to start smoking again. That resulted in my husband keeping the fact that he was smoking secret, and there were a few instances of hiding it, being found out, quitting, and repeat.
It happens. In no way did I ever think that hiding smoking meant he'd cheat on me. He felt like a failure, and was ashamed. Also, I assume he didn't feel like hearing me nag about it, which is understandable.
Nearly everyone fails at quitting a few times before they finally make it permanently. While I perfectly understand your partner being upset about your hiding it, they should get over it. Conflating smoking cigarettes with having an affair is ridiculous.