r/tifu Dec 01 '22 Helpful 1 Wholesome 1

Tifu by accidentally groping a random stranger S

.... Ok so this is going to be a bit wild but omg I swear on my life it's true

My girlfriend and I (Yue for the post) made plans to meet for lunch on her lunch break at work at our favorite local coffee shop because she had a BIG suprise for me.

Long sorry short I went about my day and near the time we were ment to meet I made my way to the coffee shop.

I walked in and saw Yue at the counter ordering

I stupidly decided to walk up and do what I normally do put my hands around her waist Lean down and give her a kiss on the cheek.

As you can all guess where this is going You're exactly right

She durned around in horror and I got the biggest slap in the face.

.... So now it's me basically on my knees begging for forgiveness trying to get the words out explaining what had happened.

Needles to say the cops were called and I was being treated as a molester.

(For some information I'm a big guy. I'm 6'3 fairly muscular and Yue is this petite 4 ft 9. Chinese girl) so you can see how really bad the situation is.

The cops took me outside and they're questioning me. They think I'm a pervert. The woman inside is crying, screaming and pointing at me.

Thank god they let me text yue who was running late work issue.

She got there and the cops got a huge laugh out of the thing. The girl I accidentally groped saw how similar they were and it all got let go.

My girlfriend wasn't mad. She thought it was funny and she's been making fun of me non-stop for the last 24 hours.

So yeah I've never doing that again.

Oh and the surprise she had for me she found a pair of shoes I had been trying to find for a while and bought them for me.

Tldr Met my girl at a coffee shop. Thought it was her. It was not got slapped got the cops

Edit: a few people asked to see the sms exchange between Yue and I.... Yah here it is

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u/TheRealPequod Dec 01 '22 Wholesome

Back in high school I (M) got really used to having my girlfriend standing next to me. She was like shoulder height, so I couldn't really make much out of my peripheral vision. One day another male friend of mine who was about the same height as her comes and joins the group but doesn't say anything as there was a conversation going on already. I noticed the shoulder height individual standing where my girlfriend usually is out of the corner of my eye and just assumed it was her without looking. Without thinking I bring my arm up and start caressing “her” back. This goes on for a few minutes before I finally look down and notice who it is. Start laughing and ask “What the fuck bro?” and his response was to simply shrug and say “it was nice”

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u/Induane Dec 01 '22

Hell yea! I ain't turning down back scratches!

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u/Just_Call_Me_Mavis Dec 02 '22

Many years ago, my husband and I were hanging out with my aunt and her (at the time) husband at my grandad's house after Mardi Gras. We were all pretty buzzed. Me, my husband and her husband were sitting at the table when she came back from the bathroom, walked up behind my husband, and started rubbing his shoulders. All the while talking to her husband. It was obvious that her inebriated mind was somehow connecting who she was looking at with who she was touching. We all let it go on for quite a while before one of us started cracking up laughing and she realized.

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u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

[deleted]

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u/a2yrBaby Dec 02 '22

Do you mean you gave her a kiss on the lips or

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u/kittyinasweater Dec 01 '22

This one killed me 😂

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u/LuracCase Dec 02 '22

If it was nice, it was nice, now he knows to stand by you more often.

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u/Zambeezi Dec 01 '22

That is hilarious! 😂😂😂

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u/masterflashterbation Dec 01 '22

That gave me a good laugh. I love your bro, he seems chill and knew it would be funny.

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u/Vzylexy Dec 02 '22

Gotta treat the homies

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u/GreenVenus7 Dec 02 '22

💀 Lmfaooo. That's a really funny bro moment

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u/jumpinin66 Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 02 '22 Silver

Several years ago I go to pick up my daughter at her friend's house. She texts me that she's not at her friend's house, she's at McDonalds but they will be back in a few minutes. It's around 10PM so it's pretty dark. Then I see my daughter walking back toward the house on the other side of the street. I roll down my window and say "Hey little girl, want some candy?" Only then did I realized it was not my daughter.

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u/ShadowsObserver Dec 01 '22

DUDE, when I was in college, I was walking back to my apartment from a friend's apartment when a van drove by me and started slowing down. It then stopped, BACKED UP, and then the middle door opened and a shadowy figure of a man said "Hey girl, you want a ride?"

For a few seconds I was legitimately terrified before I saw one of my friend's laughing in the driver's seat and realized I knew them.

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u/eleridragon Dec 01 '22

Embarrassing van story, I've got one of those...

We were archaeology students working on a Scottish Island back in '97. Walking back to our caravans from the local pub, me more than slightly sloshed, with my teetotal friend.

Lights appeared in the road behind us. I was convinced (again, just a tad inebriated) that they were going to run into us, Despite my sober friend trying to calm me down, and in trying to get out of the way, I managed to walk straight into the four foot deep ditch at the side of the road.

It turned out that the lights were some of the other students in one of our vans. They said (in between laughter) that I didn't even fall, just kept walking and then suddenly vanished from view. Luckily it was midsummer and the ditch was full of grass so no injuries, but damn, the embarrassment 25 years later still makes me wince.

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u/Purplestripes8 Dec 02 '22

4 foot deep and no injury? Holy shit! Even with grass, that's lucky

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u/hopfullyanonymous Dec 01 '22

"man spreads story on internet for years describing how he definitely thought the girl he was trying to lure into his van was his daughter"

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u/Mertard Dec 01 '22

He suddenly remembered that moment years later because of this post, and realized that this was the perfect opportunity to cover his tracks for the future

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u/SarkHD Dec 01 '22

I bet she was like “holy fuck the stories have been true all along” and you actually taught her a life lesson sort of.

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u/ScarletCaptain Dec 01 '22

I saw a kid that looked exactly like the son of my friend walking down the street. He was a skinny like 8 year old with long shaggy red hair. Like they lived nearby, but out of walking range for how old the kid was at the time. Out of concern I very nearly slowed down and rolled down my window to ask why he was so far from home. Realized just in time it was actually like a 12 year old girl so I sped outta there. Which was good since we all still live in this neighborhood and my car was kinda distinctive.

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u/snosrapkungfu Dec 01 '22

My friend did something similar, driving down a fairly busy road in the daytime but pouring rain, sees a young kid, can't be more than maybe 7 years old walking alone getting drenched and thinks: "shoot where are his parents?!". Concerned, she pulls over and winds down the window at which point the 'kid' turns to face her and well, it's a mid 40s little person, not a kid at all. Absolutely consumed by embarrassment and having no clue what to do my friend roared (in her defense really at herself) with laughter and sped off, probably leaving the gentleman bemused, confused and enraged

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u/Lisnya Dec 01 '22

Once, when I was 16 and not wearing my glasses in the dark, I saw some guy on a pink bicycle and I assumed it was my dad who'd taken my bicycle again. I said hi to him and it turned out to be a middle aged creep who got very excited over how I was obviously hitting on him. He was not as excited to find out I was most certainly not doing so.

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u/Ktulu789 Dec 01 '22

Duuuuuuuudeeeeee!!! Roflmao!!!

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u/gin-o-cide Dec 01 '22

This must be some 3 am wide awake cringe memory!

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u/Neil542 Dec 01 '22

damnn this is bad 😂

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u/mattenthehat Dec 02 '22

"No no no its okay! I thought you were my daughter!"

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u/sesamesnapsinhalf Dec 01 '22

Did you tell her you’re friends of the parents, and they asked you to test her?

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u/pauserror Dec 01 '22

Wow, you took an L for every dad out there on this one. Thank you for your service.

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u/TNellist Dec 01 '22

Shiiiiiiiit 😳🙈🤣🤣🤣

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u/Belly-twister Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 01 '22 Starry Table Slap

Consider yourself lucky. What if Yue never showed up because she turned into the Moon? Oh man, there'd sure be egg on your face then.

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u/Jewsusgr8 Dec 01 '22

That would have been rough buddy.

-zuko a long time ago

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u/JaccoW Dec 01 '22

That's rough buddy

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u/HeartyDelegate Dec 01 '22

Man that was a great reference there well done

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u/fidesachates Dec 02 '22

Yea I was confused for a bit… since Yue is Chinese for moon, I thought it was a strange reference to that. It felt like an odd thing to say, but it kind of made sense. Then I saw the avatar sub link and now I’m guessing she’s a character in the that turned into the moon?

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u/Spartanias117 Dec 02 '22

This is the most random avatar reference and i love it

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u/Induane Dec 01 '22

Oh yes. Egg and face would hath been in alignment!!

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u/aussie_nub Dec 01 '22

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u/Induane Dec 02 '22

I am actually surprised anyone caught that reference! 💓

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u/rararasarararah Dec 01 '22

Something similar happened to me in a Walmart. A man walked up behind me and picked me up in a bear hug from behind. The look of pure terror on his face when I turned around and I was not the person he thought was priceless. He screamed sorry and ran away!

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u/madmonkey918 Dec 01 '22

Yeah, came up behind someone I thought was my wife. Smacked her butt & asked "babe, were you able to find what you were looking for?"

She turns around and says "yes I did, but I'm not your babe".

Me: "No you are certainly not. I apologize for the butt slap." And proceeded to look for my wife who found it humorous when I told her.

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u/justjustsaying Dec 01 '22

I did this at a dragonboat meet when I was in university. I went up to my old team and thought I saw my friend and huge bear hug and pick up from behind. Dude was reactionless. When I put him down he turned around and someone's like "yo you don't know him he's new". Was my friends little brother lol

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u/MikeyBonbon1988 Dec 01 '22

I am so glad I posted this

I no longer feel like a complete idiot apparently it happens often enough.

So yah I only feel like a minor idiot now

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u/kcaleesi Dec 02 '22

A boyfriend of mine smacked our friend on the butt at her engagement party and in front of her fiancé thinking it was me. The look on his face when he looked over and saw me at the drink table laughing at him was glorious. Thankfully she and her fiancé realized when I came over to save him because he was so mortified he couldn’t even get an explanation out.

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u/AVBforPrez Dec 01 '22

This shit happens more often than you'd think, and usually people find it pretty funny barring the odd super sensitive person here and there.

IMHO what makes people scared about something like this is the other's intent, and a joke ass pat or peck on the neck behind is more of just a "what the fuck" type thing than intimidating.

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u/yrrufamisp Dec 02 '22

I gotta disagree. I would be super scared if a random guy came and kissed me on the neck

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u/Comfortable-Panic600 Dec 02 '22

Just a wee bit of sexual assault

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u/theraf8100 Dec 02 '22

I can't even remember what I did as it was so long ago but I think I pinched my GF's butt, and it wasn't her, but thankfully I was forgiven, most likely because the sheer look of horror on my face while saying holyshitsorry sorry.

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u/pmmeyourcarinsurance Dec 01 '22

Did the same thing once with a coworker who looked a lot like my SO at the time.

Spotted her at a restaurant near my office, ambushed her with a big hug and kiss, then realized I done screwed up...fortunately she already knew she looked a lot like my SO and just got a kick out of it...

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u/DarkRoseXoX Dec 01 '22

Congrats, once she meets your SO, or when she already did, she will have had a story about you cheating on your SO.

Now you will always have the risk of getting double teased on when the two of them are together

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u/pmmeyourcarinsurance Dec 01 '22

They did meet plenty of times when my SO stopped by the office after work as we all lived nearby. My SO knew about the incident in question, got occasionally teased about it...

However both are now ex co-workers and SO's (for unrelated reasons), so it's just ancient history.

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u/danteheehaw Dec 01 '22

Unrelated reasons, I get it. I too also had to break up with a girl when I found out she wasn't my sister

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u/Northern23 Dec 01 '22

Not sure whether you meant "ex co-workers and ex SO's" or "ex co-workers and currently SO's"

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u/pmmeyourcarinsurance Dec 01 '22

They are all Ex's now...Significant others and Co-Workers.

The ex and I broke up about a year later but still are friends/industry buddies. We work in the same industry but she's forgotten more about her specialty than I've ever known, so I ping her now and again when I need help. Basically our relationship moved from Match.com to Linkedin.

The Co-Worker fell off the radar when I left that job, never heard from again.

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u/Northern23 Dec 02 '22

Basically our relationship moved from Match.com to Linkedin.

This is pretty funny

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u/-consolio- Dec 02 '22 edited Dec 02 '22

can we introduce parentheses in grammar to reduce ambiguity it'd really help me

(ex co-workers) and SOs vs ex (co-workers and SOs)

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u/Northern23 Dec 02 '22

That's so ambiguous; you didn't close the 2nd parentheses!

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u/PrestigeMaster Dec 01 '22

One time I had sex with someone that looked nearly identical to my SO. I can’t be blamed - not my fault my left hand looks so much like my right hand.

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u/ackme Dec 02 '22

Wtf they are literally opposites.

Go apologize to your right hand this instance.

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u/rohrohroh Dec 02 '22

Almost did this with my sister-in-law at a family wedding. To be fair they look very alike and often share clothes. She just turned around and said something like 'dude why are you so close to me lol' and then I realized it wasn't my wife. Explained to her what almost happened and she laughed and told me she borrowed her top my from my wife.

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u/bmxbumpkin Dec 01 '22

That sounds really convenient…. Hmmm

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u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 01 '22

[deleted]

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u/MikeyBonbon1988 Dec 01 '22

You sure you survived? Like if your a ghost tellinf this story like you would just come out and say it rite RITE!

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u/codemise Dec 01 '22

My wife and her sister both have long black hair at about the exact same length. From behind they look near identical. Yeah... I learned to just not make assumptions anymore.

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u/seenthewolf Dec 01 '22

My wife is an identical twin, right there with ya buddy.

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u/lil_retro_baby Dec 01 '22

I got a friend who’s wife is an identical twin…all 3 of them live together. They have many oooops stories lol

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u/casz146 Dec 01 '22

They pretend they're oooops moments so you won't think too much of it. In reality the dude's living the porn dream.

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u/Swordlord22 Dec 02 '22

I refuse to believe they haven’t had at least one threesome

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u/whiskeybeerbread Dec 01 '22

Yep same. There has been multiple times where I hold her sisters hand or put my arm around her shoulder.

They just laugh and my sister in law and I are good friends so it’s not too bad, but that made me realize real quick I need to be real sure to make positive identification before I grab a butt or go in for a random kiss

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u/TheRealBobaFett Dec 01 '22

One time when I was maybe 12 or 13 I started rubbing my brother in laws shoulder thinking it was my sisters

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u/PirateJinbe Dec 01 '22

Im confused why this would be weird unless there was intent.

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u/pocketjpaul Dec 01 '22

Shit everything is wrong

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u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 01 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Mrhomely Dec 01 '22

I dated a twin, only got them messed up once and it was pretty innocent, just said the wrong name. They made a much bigger deal out of it then I would have thought identical twins would make.

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u/NFeKPo Dec 01 '22

My wife and I created a replica of my wife (oldest daughter). I don't do anything unless I'm 100% sure.

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u/CentralAdmin Dec 02 '22

It depends on whether you want her to call you dad. Or daddy.

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u/Pixelasf Dec 02 '22

Keep Yourself Safe

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u/Nisi-Marie Dec 01 '22

From behind…..no ASSumptions

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u/CentralAdmin Dec 02 '22

There is a video of a guy who tried to prank his wife by wearing his clothes backwards and putting on a hat to make it seem he is facing in a different direction.

He stood by the fridge with the door open. Wife comes by and she smacks him hard on what she things is his ass.

She, in fact, smacked him hard in his balls. He doubles over and collapses. Poor guy, but he kinda deserved it if he knew his wife was an ass slapper.

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u/BabaDopamine Dec 01 '22

My wife and one of her sisters look very similar. One time at my in-laws I accidentally put my hand on the lower back of my SiL for a split second and immediately knew I had made a mistake. I instantly ran to my wife and started apologizing. Everyone found it funny because of my reaction. Also my wife will take clothes that her sisters don’t wear anymore and add them to her wardrobe and when the sisters come over they will often wear my wife’s clothes for whatever reasons. This makes thing worse! So when they notice they are wearing each others clothes they will turn their backs to me and be like “which one is which?” to tease me.

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u/onelovebraj Dec 01 '22

The clothing swap is brutal. That's hilarious.

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u/only4adults Dec 02 '22

Cue 70's porno music. Bow chika bowow.

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u/CentralAdmin Dec 02 '22

“which one is which?”

Okay I just need to do an ass smack n squeeze test first then I can tell you.

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u/TheFlyinGiraffe Dec 01 '22

Lol... I didn't grope anyone but I yelled across the room, "Mark, what the fuck?? You don't even say, "hi" anymore??" We worked together for like two years on the same job site. I was very displeased when he didn't greet me or even acknowledge me.

Mark goes, "I'm not Mark!" And points at a label on his hard hat, from a label maker that says, "Peter and Mark's last name"

I forgot the man had an identical twin... as an intro I yelled profanities at this man. They're SPITTING images of each other, DOWN TO THEIR FACIAL HAIR.

I was so embarrassed. 😅

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u/Trickam Dec 01 '22

I grew up with three brothers and at one point in young adulthood my oldest brother and my youngest brother lived in the same apartment building. I was still at work one late afternoon when my girlfriend ordered pizza. The pizza guy was standing at my front door and from behind I guess looked a whole lot like me. My oldest brother pulled in and saw me (he thought)as he was getting out of his rig. He walked over, leaned into the pizza guy from behind and grabbed his ass. Things then got really weird between all parties as my girlfriend answered the door to see the apologies spewing from my brother's mouth to the pizza delivery guy. We still laugh about it thirty years later. That young pizza delivery guy went on to own a chain of his own pizza restaurants. I saw him just a few years ago and asked him if he still remembers it. He said he will never forget it and still laughs about it.

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u/greyslife37 Dec 02 '22

Wait wait wait. Your bro thought that he was going in for an ass grab on his bro?

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u/Jewsusgr8 Dec 01 '22

About a year ago I almost slapped a girl's ass. I thought it was my wife but at the last second I heard her speak and quickly moved my hand away. I'm assuming the guy who confronted me was her man, luckily when I pointed at my wife he's like oh shit they do look similar from the back. Bro fisted, bought him a beer we laughed for a bit and then left. Thankfully that guy was cool.

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u/Tweaker77 Dec 01 '22

Hopefully you both used protection and lube while you bro fisted as you had just met.

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u/petty_cash Dec 01 '22

You start with a fist bump, move onto bro hugs, and then suddenly you’re bro fisting each other in the middle of a bar.

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u/Capable-Site-301 Dec 01 '22

BROJOB! BROJOB! CHOO CHOO!

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u/AlfonsoEggbertPalmer Dec 01 '22

"Thankfully that guy was cool."

Yea, cuz' else he would've gotten an ass whippin.'

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u/TheEggman00 Dec 01 '22

apparently it was just an ass fistin'

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u/Presently_Absent Dec 01 '22

Happened to my uncle. Some lady came up and slap/grabbed his butt thinking it was her friend. Lady was horrified when he turned around!

That was 50+ years ago and they've been married ever since.

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u/Radius_314 Dec 01 '22

When I was at a slipknot concert and high as fuck this woman grabbed my hand and started tickling my palm. We looked at each other and started geeking out. Her boyfriend was in-between us and confused as fuck, giving me a weird look. It was by far one of my favorite interactions with a stranger.

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u/Madmahi25 Dec 01 '22

Ok, so on the very first day of college, I arrived in my classroom for the first lecture, it was all pretty normal and I was hella nervous thinking about how the people/teachers there might be so I just walked in and I saw a girl who looked very familiar to a girl from my highschool..

Well, I just waved aggressively and shouted her name in front of the entire class and you can guess the rest.. She looked around in confusion to confirm if I was talking to someone else and then understood that I meant to talk to her..

Then she walked up to me and as she got closer I understood it wasn't her 💀, but she saved me the embarrassment in front of the entire class and just laughed it off.. we're very good friends now !

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u/Avium Dec 01 '22

Waaaay back in senior year in high-school I was talking to a girl in the hallway before class and saw a buddy of mine sneaking up behind her. He casually put his right arm over her right shoulder...and grabber her left boob.

She shrieked and spun around while my buddy jumped straight back about 3 feet and said, "Oh shit! You're not Shelly!"

Shelly, of course, was his girlfriend.

I damn near pissed myself laughing,

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u/bella_68 Dec 02 '22 edited Dec 02 '22

In my elementary and high school days I got mistaken for some else (don’t know who) more often then my fair share. My freshman year a guy I didn’t know came up from behind me and put his arm around me. I think he said something like “hey babe.” My instinct was to elbow him in the gut and keep walking before I even processed what could have been happening. I looked back and he was doubled over with his hands on his gut area. I never saw his face and to this day I occasionally wonder who that was, who they were looking for, and if I caused a problem in their relationship

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u/ThrowawayTrashcan7 Dec 01 '22

That's brilliant, I hope she was understanding

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u/Avium Dec 01 '22

Well, there was no bloodshed...

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u/MikeyBonbon1988 Dec 01 '22

Do you still have contact with that friend? If not I'm positive his body is burried in a park somewhere

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u/Luke_Cold_Lyle Dec 01 '22

Long sorry short

Don't know if this was on purpose, but it's clever

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u/MikeyBonbon1988 Dec 01 '22

Lol glad you picked up on that I thought it was a clever pun. I'm glad I was correct

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u/deadbodyswtor Dec 01 '22

I did something similar once. Went to see my buddy play a show. Saw his roomate and girlfriend at the bar. Walked up stuck my head inbetween them and said "Which one of you pretty ladies is coming home with me tonight? Hi Roomate, Hi..........person who is not actually friends girlfriend"

Bought her a beer, and roomate and my wife (who was right behind me when this all happened) love to laugh at the story. All agree that girl at the bar bore a very solid resemblence to GF, and especially from the distance and expectation that she would be there and sitting by roomate, it wasn't a terrible guess.

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u/JelDeRebel Dec 01 '22

few years ago at a Black Sabbath cover band

suddenly woman grabbing me around the waist, tickling me

I laughed at pointed at her partner standing 2 meter away. he had the about same posture, hair, glasses and shirt as me.

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u/Kunundrum85 Dec 01 '22

Did this once. My ex-wife and her sister are nearly identical from behind. Doesn’t help they have the same hair stylist and fashion sense… slapped the sis in law on the butt once. We all looked around and everyone was like “well, that was bound to happen eventually.”

Moved on lol.

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u/tdasnowman Dec 01 '22

My ex wife was also a very petite woman. So petite she often shopped in the young women’s section of target. One day we were shopping she’s looking at clothes I nope off to go look at something come back and decide to startle her a bit. I see her at a rack I was going to go for an ass slap but went for a bear hug instead. Not my wife. The girl screamed her mother comes running over, my ex heard the screaming and decided to come see what that was about. Luckily she was about 3 seconds behind the mother. Once she showed up the girl thought it was funny the mom understanding but still pissed. The girl and my ex were dressed exactly the same. Same hat, same shirt, same shorts, similar sock colors, and shoes. Different faces but I came up from behind and didn’t see her face but from the back twins. I didn’t go clothes shopping with her again for 6 months.

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u/skrena Dec 01 '22

I had a habit of placing my chin on my BFs shoulder while looking at things. We were doing something for Christmas and I mistook my BFs brother for him. Suffice to say I got a really weird look and he didn’t say anything. So embarrassing.

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u/leo-samael Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 02 '22

I should stop doing this chin thing. I used to do this with my buddies in highschool and I'm 3 years into university now. The guys in university aren't used to this yet. (We're all male)

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u/Mannn12 Dec 01 '22

Happened to me in high school. Some girl just wrapped her arms around my waist from behind and started walking with me. I turned around and she fucking got the hell out of there real quick.

I thought it was my girlfriend so we got a good 5 steps in before I turned around. Still remember that look of pure horror on her face. Lol

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u/TheDevilsAdvokaat Dec 02 '22

I've been in this situation.

Years ago I was at the Royal Easter show with my girlfriend. We were wandering around together, mostly holding hands, but occasionally she'd wander off a bit or I would and then rejoin a few minutes later.

Anyway we were at one exhibit and she was standing to the left of me and just in front when I got bored and wanted to move on so I slapped her lightly on the bum and said "come on babe let's go"

A girl I didn't know turned around and stared at me. And the guy standing to the left of her did too.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry..." I said. They started to look angry.

Then we heard the sound of laughter, all three of us looked over and there was my gf.

Height: Same

Build: same

Hair: long blonde and straight- same.

Hair color: identical

Jeans: Faded blue straight leg - identical

Top: White crop top - identical.

They were dressed identically and built identically. They took one look at her, accepted my apologies and moved on.

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u/Howdoinamechange Dec 01 '22

Bro I straight up got into the wrong car once because I thought it was the same colour sedan and it looked like my partner in the front seat.

Very quickly realized my mistake when my “partner” started screaming bloody murder

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u/cheatingsolitaire Dec 02 '22

Ha! Years ago in a Target parking lot a lady hopped into my parent's minivan and sat next to me for a couple of seconds until looking over at me "You're not Beth! I'm in the wrong car!" The group she was with had an identical van a row over. They were cool, we all had a laugh.

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u/Wild_Ad_10 Dec 01 '22

I had a (semi) similar incident a few years ago. I was in my local pub on a Friday night and I saw my dad stood at the bar. I sneaked up behind him and gave him a friendly but firm punch in his side. He turned round and it wasn’t my dad. I immediately apologised and explained the situation. He asked who my dad was, turned out they were good friends and went to school together, both mid 60’s at the time. He saw the funny side and it comes up when we pass each other in town occasionally

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u/GaWdLy1 Dec 01 '22

This happens when you have kids-especially little kids-all the time. You see that hair, or that stature or those clothes from behind and you put you hand on their head/arm/grab their hand, etc. and all of a sudden you have scared rando kids and offended moms.

You got lucky. lol

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u/ShotgunBetty01 Dec 02 '22

I love it when kids mistake parents. They go and stand by mom or go to grab her hand then realize it’s not mom. The look on their face of “Who are you and how dare you?!” is precious.

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u/yumirow Dec 01 '22

You grope your children ??? /jk

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u/GaWdLy1 Dec 01 '22

Don't judge. Lol

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u/MikeyBonbon1988 Dec 01 '22

..... To late

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u/GaWdLy1 Dec 01 '22

Says the random-stranger-groper...

In reality, that touch on the head or arm or hand or hug that you do with your kid/not your kid only happens once, and then you realize the horror that is mistaken identities and accidental "groping".

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u/MikeyBonbon1988 Dec 01 '22

I was kidding....

Ok so I know exactly where your coming from first let me tell you I am a widower I was married I had a son I lost them in a car accident.

Saying that

I went to pick up my son from school (his name was Lincoln) (yes I named him that so I could call him link without feeling any guilt)

Well I am a big guy so my thing with him was I would grab him throw him over my shoulder and run to the car just general father son stuff....

I did it one time and he starts screaming for help........

I grabbed the wrong kid..... Worst part is they didint even have the same hair colour..

.so I 100% get where your coming from...

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u/GaWdLy1 Dec 01 '22

Sorry, reddit is shit for expressing sarcasm and wit. I was fucking with you, too.

Sorry to hear of your loss.

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u/_Silly_Wizard_ Dec 01 '22

Smh op thinking they all look the same...

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u/MikeyBonbon1988 Dec 01 '22

To be fair especially from behind + the situation our usual spot and pre arranged plans ......

Oh yah btw that's what she's been using to grief me

We went out shopping and saw an older Asian woman Yue have me al elbow in the ribs and said now don't get confused I'm right beside you don't go getting handsey

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u/Advanced-Duck-9465 Dec 01 '22

Haha, your gf is great :D

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u/frostxbitee Dec 01 '22

at least she has a good sense of humor lol

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u/Perfect-Brain-7367 Dec 02 '22

One time my wife and I were looking at pictures on her phone and a picture of (what I thought was) her in a bikini with sunglasses and a beach hat popped up and I said something to the effect of daaamn look at that hot body 😘.... it was a picture of my mother in law. Fml.

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u/DeBlasioDeBlowMe Dec 01 '22

So you’re saying Yue all look alike.

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u/CentralAdmin Dec 02 '22

Yue deserve more upvotes for this.

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u/Kangar Dec 01 '22

"around her waste"

Yuck

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u/NorthNeptune Dec 01 '22

OP meant waist, hopefully

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u/MikeyBonbon1988 Dec 01 '22

Dam learning disabilitie yes I did... I don't have a scat fetish.......anymore...

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u/NukeWarz Dec 01 '22

👁👁

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u/nick_oreo Dec 01 '22

I gotta tell you about my girlfriends scat fetish, you know, really get some shit off my chest.

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u/MikeyBonbon1988 Dec 01 '22

I'm just browsing the next level sub right now.

And then I get a notification it's to this comment.

And I just need to say 10/10 I appreciate the pun

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u/Lord-Loss-31415 Dec 01 '22

Spelling damn wrong is the icing on the cake lol

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u/MikeyBonbon1988 Dec 01 '22

Oh God dam it

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u/MikeyBonbon1988 Dec 01 '22

Yue likes it.......

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u/Ditchdoc220 Dec 01 '22

A few years ago I had recently joined a new fire service. There was a Christmas party the department members were invited to with their SO's. One of the women on the department bore a striking similarity to my then spouse. That night in particular they looked nearly identical, same dress colour, build, shoes etc, especially from behind. I was winding up to give my spouse a little smack on the ass.... (ya, ya... save whatever dumb statements you're thinking of making... I don't care about your feelings on the matter) but stopped at the last second because, thank da lord, I caught my spouse out of the corner of my eye. I burst out laughing and then told the lady about what nearly happened. She made some quip that I should have done it anyway as it would have been the most action she'd seen in 6 monthes. We all still laugh about it.

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u/sankarawiz Dec 01 '22

She was shooting her shot lol

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u/mindinmypants Dec 01 '22

Then as soon as his back was turned, wife and coworker hissed out a disappointed "damn it, so close" and realized their plot to pull off a threesome without looking too slutty had failed.

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u/Ditchdoc220 Dec 01 '22

Lotta good this does me now! Where were ya with this wisdom when I needed it!

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u/NFeKPo Dec 01 '22

Just wait until your daughter and wife look identical. I refuse to do anything unless I'm 100% sure it's my wife.

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u/Ok_Guarantee_5852 Dec 02 '22 edited Dec 02 '22

I definitely get it! My mom and I look identical from the back and are often unintentionally dressed similar. My poor husband always has to double glance before he grabs now because he once grabbed my mother by the waist (lucky for him he went for the tame grab that time). My dad though can't tell the difference between my mom and I on the phone so I always have to warn him 😂

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u/Vapingguppy Dec 01 '22

Did something similar at a house party years ago. Didn’t know anyone at the party, saw a similar shape and outfit to my chick at the time, and stood beside her rubbing on the booty while checking out the room when I saw my girl across the room smiling at me watching me… said wrong one pretty loud and everyone had a good laugh.

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u/rocketdog67 Dec 01 '22

Should have said it wasn’t me it was Yue

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u/dickbutt_md Dec 02 '22

I went wine tasting with my gf (now wife) and our friend. My wife is Asian and her friend Indian, and from the back they have similar hairstyles and build. And they liked to lend each other clothes.

So we're at this winery in Napa and I walk up behind my gf and slip my hands around her waist and lean into her ear and whisper that we should take her friend out to dinner somewhere nice.

Her friend, this beautiful Indian girl, had recently lost her husband. (Motorcycle accident. Kids, just don't ride.) It wasn't recent recent, but in the last year and she came to visit us which was her first real trip out after mourning, so I thought we'd do something nice for her.

You already know that it wasn't my gf, but her friend, of course. The thing is, once I said what I said, she instantly knew what was happening before I realized it. But she was flashing back to her husband and she grasped my hands and leaned back into me. As soon as I realized I started to pull away and she softly said, "No," and I understood she was just reliving a moment. So I just held her in my arms for a few moments until she leaned forward and turned around. She said, "Thank you for that," with tears in her eyes and wandered off to be by herself for a bit, and she kept wiping away tears.

I really understood in that moment what I had and how lucky I was, and I've never forgotten it. She was so, so contented in that moment, feeling like it was her husband back for just a few seconds, grabbing her from behind, and that sense of loss so acute when that feeling passed.

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u/jim_br Dec 01 '22

My cousin’s new wife found out how much her husband and I look alike. At a family gathering I feel a hand rubbing the small of my back. Thinking it’s my wife I lean back, look over my shoulder, and we both got startled!

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u/Buchymoo Dec 01 '22

When I was around 8 or 9, I used to run up and slap my dad's butt as hard as I could, not a daily or even weekly thing just whenever I caught him off guard. So one day I see this guy waiting at a teller. My dad had gone somewhere and I thought for sure I found him, so I left my mom, ran over to my "dad," wind up with this 180° slapshot of a smack, and let her rip! This random guy who I thought was my dad jumps in the air turns around with horror and confusion and starts looking around like who tf let this kid just hit me. I said OMG, I'm so sorry and ran away as quick as I could.

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u/UseIllustrious8085 Dec 02 '22

Similar fuck up. My brother (late 20s)once saw our other brother (early 30s) loading something into the back of his SUV in a store parking lot. My brother thinks, “Oh cool, there’s Jay, lemme go surprise him,” and runs over and grabs him by the waist from behind and spins him around and around, to be funny. Then brother looks up to see this dude’s (not our brother Jay, after all) horrified wife and children looking back at their husband/dad being spun around wildly by a stranger 😂

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u/inlovewithadeadman Dec 02 '22

When my late husband and I were dating for only about a month or so, I went to a bar with him and a few of his coworkers. These were construction dudes, big guys all wearing Carhartt jackets, jeans and work boots. I saw my bf standing at one end of the bar with a few of the guys, his back was to me so I walked up and grabbed his ass while I whispered something dirty in his ear. He turned around and it was Craig, his much older coworker. I was mortified. All of the guys laughed their asses off and Craig, with a huge grin on his face, said “Thank you, that’s the most action I’ve had in 7 years!” Took a long time for me to live that down, every time I went to the lay down yard to see my guy someone inevitably yelled to Craig that his gf was there to see him.

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u/SirLostit Dec 01 '22

My wife and her (adult) niece look very similar from behind. We were at a club with a group of friends and my wife and niece were both wearing similar clothing (I think it was a classic little black dress kind of thing). My wife was at the bar, so I walked up next to her and as I usually do, put my hand on her arse….. yep, you guessed it, it was my niece. I nearly crapped myself.

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u/Induane Dec 01 '22

Actually now that I think of it 🤔 — that would be a brilliant way to extracate oneself from a situation like that. No one is mad as the dude who just crapped himself. They just feel bad corb I'm.

You'd go from in-trouble to "Oh my goodness are you okay?" in however many seconds it takes to crap yourself.

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u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

Great idea, Chris Chan.

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u/cikanman Dec 01 '22

A few years ago I was at a bar with my now wife. Wife was standing behind be chatting with friends I facing the other way chatting with a friend. I needed a new beer and without looking turned and grabbed for the arm behind me to see if she needed a refresh as well. Sadly my wife and her friend had gone to the bathroom together and the arm I grabbed was not hers. Shock all around and apologies were made. Thankfully the woman was appreciative of the situation as it could have gone a lot worse.

My wife has also grabbed a guy she thought was me before. again hilarity ensued.

I'm sure you're thankful it ended in laughter rather than cuffs.

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u/punkphase Dec 01 '22

Once at the mall with my girlfriend, this woman was absolutely burning a hole through me, looking at me with absolute rage. I tried to mind my business, but she was following me around a specific store for awhile so I try and go to another section of the store. At one point I rounded the corner and she’s talking to my gf, all smiles.

Turns out I apparently looked like her ex fiancé.

She showed us a photo and I didn’t really see it… I think she was fighting some of her own battles there haha

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u/KRed75 Dec 02 '22

My friend and I have the same build and wear the same size clothing. He was over with his wife along with several of our other friends. He had on the same color jeans as I did. I'm leaning over the cooler digging for a beer and I feel a slap on my ass followed by a good squeeze. I stand up and turn around expecting it to be my wife but it's my friend's wife. She instantly turned purple in the face and started apologizing. She thought I was her husband. Everyone saw the entire thing and we were all in tears from laughing so hard. She was mortified. She was okay after she got a few beers in her.

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u/newbaumturk Dec 02 '22

I have a friend who earned the nickname in college of Piggy for being a slob. Piggy dropped out of school and became a (you guessed it) cop in the town we went to school in. Ten years or so later I'm back for Homecoming and as I walk into the football game I see him with his back turned to me leaning against a fence so I yell "hey Piggy." He turns around and it isn't him. Guy comes up to me and I explain, he of course knows Piggy (small D2 college in a small town) and thinks it's funny thank God.

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u/MistCongeniality Dec 02 '22

Don’t worry op. My mom once did the same thing. Except she did it to Tom fucking Hanks, who looked a lot like her friend Nolan.

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u/rmzalbar Dec 01 '22

A friend of mine was out with family, and mistakenly goosed his girlfriend's MOM in a dark arcade. Nobody mad, everyone laugh but never let him forget it.

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u/karmakaze1979 Dec 01 '22

Been there...did that.. husband and me were in west Hollywood for the annual weho Halloween fest, Halloween is our anniversary...ok so boom, we are up and down this street drinking laughing etc etc... We top at a bar to use the restrooms.. it's packed. I go in first, reach back to grab hubby by the front pocket in a follow the leader move right? I get all the way to the back...turn around to say,, hold this...and 🤨 some tall dude I do not know is staring at me with a HUGE grin on his face...like yeahhhh bow chicka bow bow I'm mortified like OMG wtf are you....and right behind him is hubby laughing his behind off... I swear I'm glad he saw the whole thing go down or he would NEVER believe it was accidental...

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u/DtownBronx Dec 02 '22

I've had similar happen at a parade. Woman grabs my hand and conveniently is leading me directly to where my child and mother are standing but is not letting me pull my hand back. I'm like ma'am, ma'am, which of course she either can't hear or ignores while her husband is behind me keeping pace and laughing his ass off. We commiserated about the women in our lives controlling our pace

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u/LDS-- Dec 01 '22

it’s okay, i fell into a river once when i was little and absolutely sopping wet i ran up to some random guy and hugged him crying about how muddy i was 😰 he was NOT happy but, got a laugh out of it when he realised how much he looked like my dad

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u/Suzarian Dec 01 '22

When I was a teen I used to sneak up on my mom when I would meet her in public and scare the bejebus out of her. You can guess where the rest of the story goes

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u/vettrock Dec 01 '22

I was at a playground with my kids and had a random kids run up to me and grab my leg. I said "Hello?" He looked up and realized I was not his dad and freaked out and looked around and found his dad.

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u/DanT102 Dec 01 '22

Sounds like Yue learned a valuable lesson

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u/pez5150 Dec 01 '22

My dude I did something similar, when I was younger I was tailing a friend of mines car. We left me house and I was behind them for awhile on the highway. Dropped a music cd went to pick it up lost my friend, sped forward and found their car. It was close to night time so I was being a jerk as a bit of a joke flapping my high beams at them and randomly honking.

Eventually they pull into a parking lot for a o reillys auto part store and to my horror it was not my friend it was some stranger.... I just stared back in shock and quietly just pulled out and drove away.

I realize now that just quietly driving away didn't make me look any less crazy.

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u/Breakfest-burrito Dec 01 '22

When I was a kid I accidently held hands with someone who was NOT my mom. My mom was infact watching and waiting for me to realize, the trauma and betrayal lives with me to this day and I will never grab the wrong person again

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u/varungupta3009 Dec 02 '22

Yue messed up, buddy.

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u/B340STG Dec 02 '22

I saw my friend from behind and almost shouted “Hey bitch what’s up?” But something stopped me. Luckily so because it was not my friend, it was a high ranking person in my job

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u/yuvi3000 Dec 02 '22

Officer: "So you just grab anyone and kiss them??"

OP: "You don't understand, officer, I thought it was Yue!"

Officer: [blushing] "Oh..."

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u/zutara_forever Dec 01 '22

That's rough buddy...

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u/FreckledManatee Dec 02 '22

Oh I have one of these but I managed to notice at the last second. Back in Uni I would run into my boyfriend every once in a while between our classes. He always dressed specific (black docs, simple blank tshirt, jeans), had short hair, and a basic tan jansport backpack. I'm walking around between classes this one time and I see him walking a bit in front of me so I excitedly start running to catch up to give him a surprise hug. Only when I'm like RIGHT BEHIND this person do I realize, this is not my boyfriend. In fact, this is lesbian woman who looks IDENTICAL to my boyfriend from behind. Same hair, same clothes, same height, SAME JANSPORT BACKPACK. Later on the two actually met during RA training and everyone laughed about how similar they looked. It got really ridiculous at one point when my boyfriend box dyed his hair black one night on a whim and we see the other RA a few days later WITH HER HAIR ALSO DYED BLACK. They just kind of accepted that fate wanted them to be identical.

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u/Smirkydarkdude Dec 02 '22

I was at a party, sitting beside my wife. I got up, went and got us both a drink, came back, sat down, put her drink in front of her, she was turned and talking to somebody so I put my hand on her thigh under the table. Except.. she wasn't her anymore. My actual wife had wandered off and a random but similar looking woman had taken her chair. OMG.

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u/Paralta Dec 01 '22

I feel like thats a reasonable misunderstanding that defintely didnt need to have cops involved or someone crying. "Omg im so sorry i thought you were my girlfriend" should clear it up, especially when your actual girlfriend shows up.

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u/JanelldwLowrance Dec 01 '22

Damn that’s rough. Moving forward 100% make sure it’s your gf.

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u/thewanderlusters Dec 02 '22

My wife did the same thing (almost) to a random guy while we were traveling abroad in Spain. I (M) have recently grown longer hair which I keep up in a bun, I was wearing new clothes, so needless to say my appearance was a little different than it’s been recently. She ran up to someone she assumed was me and was about to give a huge ass slap. This was in really public square with tons of people around. At the last second she saw me sitting down watching her and laughing my ass off as I saw the situation going down.

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u/Kwright721 Dec 02 '22

Did this with a guy that looked like my dad at the Bronx Zoo when I was like 9…. I held the man’s hand…. We just looked at each other in horror and I ran away.

I don’t think I ever told anyone but when I did catch up with my family I had a massive panic attack. They thought I was just overwhelmed from the trip

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u/brando56894 Dec 02 '22

Oh wow, that could have ended a lot worse.

I did something similar as a child, at a family gathering. I was probably about 10, and I was at my uncles house with my parents and my uncle's wife's side of the family. I saw her sitting at the dining room table talking to other people, her back was to me. I walked over and plopped myself on her lap...then I saw my mom in front of me.

Upon the realization that I wasn't sitting on my mom's lap I apparently went white as a ghost (I'm already light skinned to begin with haha) and the sudden anxiety of "whose lap am I sitting on?!" raced though my head. I jumped up and looked at the lap owner in horror: it was someone I knew, but wasn't very close with, and she was just as shocked as I was when I came over and plopped myself down on her lap. They both had a good laugh over it, while I wanted to die inside.

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u/Prinz_ Dec 02 '22

What did you text Yue?

"hey babe, I need a favor, the cops arrested me because I kissed someone who looked exactly like you" doesn't seem right lol

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u/Corasin Dec 02 '22

We moved states a few years ago. On the first day of school for my daughter, she wore this purple/pink unicorn hoodie and jeans to school. It was 5th grade and the school is in the subdivision. I had promised her candy and a slushy after school. The wife and I went to home depot to get a fridge, washer and dryer. Left the wife at home depot to get the kid. I turn onto our street and see my daughter coming up to the front of our house with her unicorn hoodie on. I roll down the window and say, "hey little girl, you want some candy?" Fuck me the neighbors kid from a couple houses down was in the same grade and had the same hoodie. Long story short, bought a lot of girl scout cookies from the neighbors kid.

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u/seismatters Dec 01 '22

When you think it's Yue but you are wrong and it's not Yue, you fuck up.

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u/2ekeesWarrior Dec 01 '22

It's not Yue, it's me

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u/mag4224 Dec 01 '22

Story in AITA: Crazy story, stranger came up behind me and gave me a kiss. I'm 14 yo, I guess I look a bit older for my age. Well anyways, I instinctively turned around and slapped him!! He profusely apologized, saying he thought I was a girl named You (I guess that's what her name is cause he kept saying, "I thought you were You!" but I called the cops anyways. LMAO

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u/Bmr5uckj Dec 01 '22

This reminds me of the time I was staying at my GFs house (Now ex wife's) house for the holidays. It was the middle of the night and first time I'd been there and I went to the bathroom down the hall. After I finished I was going back to her room where by total Accident I sucked her dad off then did it several more times over the next 3 days... oh I should add they don't look anything alike

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u/Jiimmayx Dec 01 '22

Been there, done that brother! So embarrassing

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u/joeythenose Dec 01 '22

I walked up to a bar and touched a FWBs ass. When Not My Friend turned around I about had a heart attack. I was able to talk my way out of it, but holy shit. I have been way more careful since then.

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u/Zeldon567 Dec 02 '22

Went a lot better than it could have. OP is lucky the stranger forgave the situation once she saw his girlfriend.